I love February !

Hi Dear Friends,

I started to work again as you understand. I have to find out a way to post my blog daily but I am getting very tired when I arrived to home. Maybe it's better fo me (and you of course) to writing the blog weekly but taking the photos daily for a while...

I feel very good this week. I think the reason is the title of the post " I love february". It means that the winter is going officialy. The spring is coming tomorrow :) I am like a nutshell in the freezer at winter time, I don't want to do anything, go to work or home, sleep or not to sleep, read or not to read, eat or don't eat (!), doesn't matter for me... But the changes started now. We have 1 week cold weather more (old people say so). After then you can see flowers all around, people start to smile with any reason, less arguements, any fights and wars (I hope), more and more...

We are talking about politics or economic crisis at work sometimes and my collegues are getting very surprised about my opinions. I don't tell them who is my teacher but you ;) Sam has a website which he writes about his travels, life,spirituality, politics, economy and more... If you take a glimpse at http://www.aliasjones.com/ sometimes, you can see what's going on this crazy world from a different angle.

There is more to write but I want to sleep ;) Here is the photos of the last week... Oh... Btw the second sign of spring (cemre) fell down to the water on friday. Spring baby...

The 52nd day

This beautiful young girl is my niece Hazal. She is very smart too and already decided to study medical faculity after high school. She has 1 more years now. I love her very much.

The 53rd day

Imge is a friend of mine from ferry ride :) we come back to island by same ferry, actually they live on the third island Heybeliada but I enjoy her concerts till Kınalıada. She is 11 years old and studies guitar at the academy of music for 4 years. I am sure we'll watch her performances soon in the public.

The 54th day

Just work stuff....

The 55th day

I am also working on a project named "The cats of Knalıada" or something like that :) I think this photo will be one of them.

The 56th day

It was raining again, took the ferry to home. A girl with white hat was sitting cross to me. The light was coming just behind the girl and the Haydarpaşa train station at the back. I like stolen photos, does it make me a pervert? When a pervert turns out an artist? Or does she / he ?

The 57th day

I went to shopping to Beşiktaş that day and when I saw this photo I stopped suddenly and started to laugh. This man is a candidate for Major of Istanbul and his offers are; He will allow to youtube connection and the taxi drivers will work with the same price in daytime and nights :)

There was an old man looking to the poster, we looked each other, he said "I am curious about what we'll see more". Smiled... But I have to accept that I loved the heart shape thing ;)

The 58th day

Saturday started wonderful. It was shining, you can feel the spring, because cemre fell down to the water on friday. I put the Gato outside, yesss she is still pregnant but getting heavier. I also went out for a walk and 10 minutes later it started to rain ! I did not neither umbrella nor raincoat so my camera started to get wet. Turned back to home as fast as possible and fell down to sleep :) When Sam came to home I saw that the day turned out a wonderful day again... I could only had this shot from that day.

Rumi game is not working since one week or so... I don't know why. If I don't feel something when I put the lines from Rumi Poetry, what is the meaning to try to do it? I'll think about it tonight, if Gato doesn't give birth...

Loves&Games&Meanings...

İlk cemre düştü... / The first sign of spring fell down to the air !

English is below today...
...

Evet, ilk cemre dün havaya düştü. Baharın ilk müjdecisi, havaların ısınmaya başlamasını gösteren ilk işaret olan cemrenin, birer hafta arayla havaya, suya ve toprağa düştüğü varsayılır. Aslında havaların ısınması tam tersi yönde gerçekleşir. Önce yeryüzü güneşten gelen ışınları soğurarak ısınmaya başlar, ısınan hava genleşerek yükselir. Havadaki soğuk hava aşağıya çökerken sıcak hava ile yolda kaşılaşıp yağmur olarak toprağa düşer. Bu arada dünyanın daha fazla güneş ışığı soğurmasıyla toprak daha da ısınır. Eğer bu açıklama yetmediyse daha fazla bilgiye buradan ulaşabilirsiniz.
Dünkü güzel havadan sonra bu sabah yine rüzgar ve yağmur sesleriyle uyandım ve Deli Kedi Mama Gatoyu hemen aşağıda minderi üzerinde kıvrılmış uyuyor buldum. Karnı sanki biraz küçülmüş gibi geldi ve neler olup bittiğini anlamak için elimi karnına koydum. Hiç bir hareket hissetmiyordum! Ne yapsam, sahibi arkadaşım olan Ortaköy Veteriner Kliniğini mi arasam diye düşünürken bir de reiki vereyim bakalım ne oluyor dedim. Elim Mama Gato'nun karnında kendimi reiki enerjisine açtım. Önce tek bir tekme geldi, 1-2 dakika sonra kıpırdanmalar başladı, 10 dakika sonra ise içeride bir dans partisi var sanabilirdiniz. Bunun yeterli olduğunu düşünerek elimi çektim, bütün bu süre içinde Gato yan yatmış uyuyordu. Ben elimi çekince sırtüstü yatarak haydi devam et, bu yeterli değil mesajı gönderdi :) Bir beş dakika daha reiki verdikten sonra ikimiz de iyice uyanmıştık, o su içmeye ben de yüzümü yıkamaya gittim. Güne güzel bir başlangıçtı yani.

Öğleden sonra Sam eve geldiğinde Esma Teyze'nin ona bir şeyler söylemeye çalıştığını ama anlamadığını söyleyince gidip bir bakayım dedim. Esma Teyze 70 yaşının başlarında, hala oduna baltayı sallayabilen, eğilip ot toplayabilen, sevgiyle sarıp sarmalayan, bazen bunaltıcı olabilen bir eski alevi nenesi. Ben kasımda problemler yaşarken bana kurşun falan dökmüştü hatta. Bana da öğretmesini istediğimde, böyle şeylerin ocaktan (aileden) dışarı çıkmadığını, anadan kıza geçtiğini söyedi bana. Neyse, Esma Teyzenin evine varıp camı tıklattığımda, sobayı yaktığını gelip ısınmamızı söylediğini öğrendim. Sonuç olarak benim hazırladığım salatayı alıp Esma Teyze'ye ısınmaya gittik. O da bize, çorba, kara lahana yemeği, kahvaltı tabağı, erik suyu ve çay ikram etti ;) Biraz önce tekrar gelip sobayı iyice yaktığını tekrar gelmemizi söyledi. Yemekte ne olduğunu sorsam ayıp mı olurdu acaba?

Fırtınalı küçük adamızdan sıcak sevgiler...

We seem to be sitting still,

but we are actually moving,

and the fantasies of phenomena

are sliding through us,

like ideas through curtains.

They go to the well of deep love

inside each of us.

Ok... Yesterday was a very special day because of the first cemre (any of three radiations of heat which supposedly fall in succession from the sun into the air, the water, and the earth in February and March) fell down to the air. It is a sign of that spring is coming soon very soon. Actually it happens completely different way. First land gets warm and heats the air, the hot air rises and meets with cold air. Rains fell down. and this circle keeps going...

I woke up in a windy and rainy day after yesterday's heaven. I saw Crazy Mama Gato when I looked at down and it seemed her belly is smaller now. I put my hand on his belly and there wasn't any movement but a little fever. I worried and started to think what I can do, maybe I can call my friend who is a very good vet and the owner of the Ortaköy Veteriner Kliniği. But first I decided to give reiki healing to her and opened myself to the reiki energy after I put my hand to her belly again. After a few seconds I felt first kick. Several minutes later more movements and after 10 minutes they were having a dance party inside. This is enough so she doesn't need my hand anymore. But when I pulled my hand back, she turned out and opened her belly to me for more :) And her belly is not smaller now. After 5 minutes more reiki we both woke up completely and she went to drink water and I went to bathroom to clean our faces...

When Sam Came to home afternoon he said Mama Esma tried to tell something to him. I wonder what she said because she wasn't on the island for a while, I was wondering if she is ok. I went to her house and tapped the window. She came out with her smiling face. Sam calls Esma as Mama because she is so caring to us. She is at her 70's, can swing the axe, pick the vegetables bent over for a long time, loving, caring (sometimes too much) an old alevi woman. When I had my health problems in november she helped me with her knowledge of kurşun dökmek (to melt lead and pour it into cold water over the head of a sick person in order to break an evil spell) ! I wanted to teach me this spell from her but she ignored me with " This is a family work. Only mothers can give her daughters".

Anyway, I asked what she said to Sam, her reply was " I put the wood into the stove (she has a big iron one). Come to here to get warm."

Finally we took the salad I made and went to Mama Esma to eat and chat. She preperad a table for us with; soup, savoy cabbage, 2-3 different type of cheeses, plum marmalade, plum juice, olive, fried bread and our salad ! She stopped by a few minutes before and invited us for dinner and warm place again. Should I ask what she cooked for dinner? :)

Love to all of you from our little stormy island...

Mama Gato's Inner Journey

...

The 50th day

My english and turkish posts are different today. Because of I put a link about a group named İçimdeki Yolculuk (Inner Journey) which works on spiritual life in Turkey. I am sure there are lots of groups and schools in your country like this one. They have seminars about to release fear and anger, find the blocks and turn them to opportunities, etc. My friend Murad sent their link to me when I mentioned about my dreams to him. This is interesing enough to search more...

The weather is very nice today. We went to walk around the island, had sunshine, explored new roads. Mama Gato followed us 5-10 minutes after then she left us and still didn't come back. I think she decided to give birth in another house! Love is set them free, huh?

Love&Peace&Freedom

Put your vileness up to a mirror and weep.

Get that self-satisfaction flowing out of you.

Satan tought, I am better than Adam,

and that better than is still strongly in us.

"Bir nehrin akışını izliyordum. O sırada, nehrin üzerine doğru uzanmış ağaçtan bir yaprak düştü. Yaprak bir çalıya sarılıp, bir kayaya takıldı, kendi etrafında hızla dönmeye başladı. Bir girdap içinde olduğu yerde dönüp duruyordu. Arkadan nehrin akış ritmi ile kendi yolunda tutunmadan gelen bir küçük dal ona dokundu. Yaprağın da bu akış içinde, kendi yolunda, kendi hızında keyifle akmasını sağladı."
"Bu kitaplar olduğu yere takılmış akamayan bütün yapraklara dokunuş olacak.
Yolunuz açık olsun..."

Bu alıntı 1-2 gün önce rüyalarımla ilgili mesajlaştığım bir arkadaşımın "Bu siteyi incelemeni tavsiye ederim" demesiyle bana ulaştı. Yani bir başka dal, ağaçtan düşmüş yolunu arayan bir yaprağa dokundu. Teşekkürler Murad...

İçimdeki yolculuk adlı web sitesinin giriş sayfasında yer alan bu sözler nedense beni çok ekiledi. Belki her şeye açık, duygusal bir anımda olduğum için, belki de bana dokunması, beni bir yerlere yöneltmesi için... İçimdeki yolculuk, kurucusu Nil Avunduk'un yaşantımızdaki tıkanıklıkları nasıl değiştirip dönüştürebileceğimizi, affetmeyi, korku ve öfkeden kurtulmayı gerçekleştirerek nasıl daha olumlu bir hayat yaşayabileceğimizi anlatan seminerlerden ve kitaplardan oluşyor. Ben ilk fırsatta gitmeye çalışacağım, size de tavsiye ederim. Daha fazla bilgiyi burada bulabilirsiniz.

Yukarıdaki fotoğraf bugünkü ada yürüyüşümüzden. Hava o kadar güzeldi ki içeride kalamadık ve kendimizi patikalara vurduk. Mama Gato bizi bir süre takip edip sonra vazgeçti, hala da eve gelmedi. Sanırım başka bir evde doğurmaya karar verdi ! Sevmek özgür bırakmak demek değil mi zaten ;)

Sevgiyle kalın...

What is she waiting for?

The 49th day

(English is below)

Mama Gato bütün gün yiyiyor, içiyor ve uyuyor. Ne için bekliyor bu kız? Doğuracak mı, yoksa bebekler bu sıcak ve güvenli yerden çıkmamaya mı karar verdiler. Sanırım Gato ve ben farklı açılardan aynı prosesi yaşıyoruz şu sıralar... O doğuracak... Ben... Ben büyük bir değişikliğin yaklaştığını hissediyorum. Tayinim ile ilgili değil, bundan daha büyük, daha kişisel, spiritüel bir değişim. Geçtiğimiz iki hafta çok ilginç rüyalar gördüm, sanırım bir şekilde bu rüyalar da süreçte etkili olacak. Kafanız mı karıştı? İnanın benimki sizden daha karışık ama kulaklarımın arasında biryerlerde birşeyler oluyor ;) Göreceğiz bakalım.
Ama şimdilik görebileceğiniz tek şey Mama Gato'nun koca göbeği. Bu fotoğrafta mywall bebek odası duvar kağıtlarının imajlarını kullandım, inşallah kızmazlar...



She is eating, drinking water and sleeping all day... What is she waiting for? Will she give birth? Maybe the kittens decided to stay this warm and safety place forever. I think Gato and me are living same process by different ways now. She will give birth. me? I feel a big change is coming and it is not about my transfer, more than this. Something about my life path, something spiritual. I had interesting dreams last 2 weeks and I feel they will help me in this transition time. Something's going on between my ears ;) We'll see...

But for now you can only see the huge belly of Mama Gato ;) In this image I used the mywall baby room wall paper images. You can see their beautiful works here.

...

when a lost hand reaches

to touch the rescuing hand,

when a candle next to a mirrored

sconce gets lit,

your presence enters my soul.

Cat's life - 2

Keep walking, though there's no place to get to.

Don't try to see through the distances.

That's no for human beings. Move within,

but don't move the way fear makes you move.

The 48th day
(Turkish version is below)

I think I told you before Mama Gato will give birth again. It is 70% chances tonight, 80% chances tomorrow, 90 and more next day... She doesn't know what she will do, me neither. She says meoww I give water, she says meeeeoooww I give food, but someties she is just looking to my eyes and saying a short mew !! What does it mean? If someone knows please tell me too... I went to down to the island to find a good box for her and kittens. Mission completed but she doesn't want to go inside it. Maybe it is not the correct time yet.

I took a few photos on my way today. We had very nice days (remembering spring) last week and last 2 days are wonderful too. So I am not surprised when I saw the flowers on the trees but this is not good for them. Early opened flowers don't live long...

Sanırım daha önce de söyledim ama tekrarlamak lazım arasıra Mama Gato ha bugün ha yarın doğuracak. Büyük ihtimalle bu gece bekliyoruz. Ne kadar zor bir şey dilini anlamadığın bir canlının derdine ortak olmak. Hayvancağız meoow diyor su veriyorum, meeeoooww diyor mama, ama bazen öyle bir bakışı var ki gözlerimin içine, bir de kısacık mew diyor ne yapacağımı bilemiyorum. Bir bilen varsa söylesin ne olur. Ona ve yavrularına bir kutu bulmak ve küçük çaplı bir alışveriş için (3 paket ruffles anlamına geliyor bu :) adanın merkezine indim. Yolda da bir kaç kedi, kuş, sandal falan çektim tabi haliyle... Bazı erik ağaçları çiçek açmışlar ama gördüğünüz gibi çiçekler buruşmuş. Geçen hafta bir kaç gün bahar havası yaşadık ya ona kanmış zavallılar, arkasından donu yeyince böyle oldu işte... Bir çiçekle bahar olmaz diyenlere bir adet de papatya fotoğrafı koydum, çimlere basmayın tabelası henüz yerine yerleştirilmediğine göre her şey serbest !

Mevlana'nın yukarıdaki şiirini Türkçeye çevirmeye çalışacağım:

Yürümeye devam et, gidecek yer kalmayıncaya kadar.

Uzakları görmeye çalışma.

Bu insanlar için değil. Sadece yap,

ama korku seni yönettiği için değil.

Punctum...

...

The 47th day


They both slept all day long as you see. And he is telling me that Gato is my cat ! Can you believe that?
They are very cute together and I am sure they will be very happy without me too :)

I am following a few blogs here and I saw this photo at one of them. The photo is from The International Word Press Winners and really touched me. It shows detective Robert Kole must ensure residents have moved out of their home in Cleveland, Ohio ! His posture is looking like he is waiting an attack from a serial killer or
one or more terrorists, but they are just people who live in their properties till soon. And maybe they had to move because of they couldn't pay 1-2 month of their mortgage. One of my very best friends lives in US and just bought a house with mortgage. I am really worrying about her after saw this photo...

If you went to the World Press page, I recommend you to check the other photos out too. There are a few very strong photos which Roland Barthes calls "this photo has punctum" in Camera Lucida. In my opinion Roland Barthes is a difficult writer. It takes long time to read and understand him to me :) But I liked his approach to photography in this book... If you like photography this is a bedside book with Susan Sontag's On Photography I think...

And the Rumi lines of the day:

He said , You are not mad enough.

You don't belong in this house.

I went wild and had to be tied up.

He said, Still not wild enough to stay with us

Now I am a fool, what about you?

Friends...

.....

The 46th day

The weather is freakin cold, I think it will snow tomorrow but the sky is very clear with white clouds. I took the 14.00 ferry to go to home. When I opened the door I looked for a seat next to the heater. I saw one and went there, a guy with a nice hat was sitting opposite of me. We greeted each other and I checked the heater as always. He smiled and told me that it's working, and we started to talk about the weather, island living, Istanbul, our jobs. When the topic came to jobs he told that he is an actor on a TV show, I felt embarassed because I don't know him. Actually I don't have a TV at home, I don't like it and told him this too. He said he is not a famous actor. So... Today's photo belongs to Kadir Bey, thanks for the chat...

Please, universal soul, practice
some song, or something, through me.

The 45th day


I went to meet with my girlfirends today. We couldn't meet for a long time and I was thinking we have lots of things to talk about. But when we met at Seyhan's house, we had dinner, chatted a little bit an started to make a puzzle !! yes, a puzzle. We are (or were?) 4 girls and 1 boy friend from Istanbul University (1998) and have stayed close since then. We went to different cities to live sometimes but we always had strong ties. This year the situation changed a lot. We have big changes in our lives and became self-centered I think. I missed my old days with my friends. Today's photo is Nesrin's legs! We had a lot of laughs with Seyhan. Actually she has very nice legs as you can see but... I took 2 photos, so you can see why it was so funny...



She had nice black shoes and red coat but she was freezing when arrived to house and changed her shoes first, so we had a little fun with her ;)

Who knows what is best for a sandgrin
or a drop of water, who opens

and closes our ability to love

Keep your friends warm :)

Love Story

My First Love Story

The minute I heard my first love story

I started looking for you,

not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They are in each other all along.

Love, childhood and others

......

The 44th day

He is young again. And don't mention

the past. Do you understand?

The beloved is here.

Rain, wind, cat, love, internet... who am I to want more from the universe? :) As you can understand I couldn't go to outside to take photos. I am listening the music and wind and wandering if the roof will fly or not :) It's playing right now:

one love

one heart

let's get together and feel allright

The 43rd day

An empty mirror and your worst destructive habits

when they are held upto each other, that is when the real making begins.

That's what art and crafting are.

Travel bug bite me again but I am only scratching. I love this chocolate box with the hotel logos on it from all over the world and my passport. It is the money box for my passport and foreign currencies and saved money for travels by me. Sometimes I take them out and staring, this doesn't show that I am a mad girl, or it does?

The 42nd day

Husam, tell about the visions of Daquqi,

who said, I have traveled east and west
not knowing which way I was going,

following the moon, lost inside God.

This is the Kabataş ferry dock where I use to go to west or come from east ! Actually what is the east and west? Who decided which one is it? And if you are in India Istanbul is west. If you are in Greece it is east. Really? Is it only a line to divide us east-west, north-south? I am against all the borders, all the prejudices, all the politics and time ;)



The 40th day

A human being is essentially

a spirit-eye.

Whatever you really see,

you are that.

Hello Dear Friends,

Ok, maybe the quality of the photo is not good for you but I took this shot from bus and it was a rainy day, and I love this photo. This is Koumquat Coffee at Ortakoy area. There was an old house with a small garden there more than 30 years ago. You have been felt to fall down on the street when you sit on the closed balcony(cumba). I lived in this house more than 7 years, then my father bought a new house in Ortaköy and we moved to this more modern (!) apartment. If they were asked to me about moving thing I would say "NO" but they didn't. To be child in Ortaköy was amazing. We were going to seaside almost everyday. There was a bike renter, my elder sister Bahar was renting bike from him. I was renting 4 wheel bike(yesss, I know what you are telling). Now, I look at this ugly building when I am passing through every time and crying for old days... This is too much :) of course I am not crying but I am missing old days, is this a sign of getting old?

The 41st day

I have brought you a mirror.

Look at youself and remember me.

This is the worse part of the 365 project, you have to take everyday a photo even you don't feel in a mood for photography or the weather cloudy, dark and wet. But I have to keep doing... This photo is one of them. The light wasn't good, it was raining, i wasn't feel all right. But when I played the Rumi game with this photo it made sense a little bit. Photos or days like this one are mirrors for me which the universe sent. If I see dark side at the mirror how can I wait good things from the universe? So... shine baby shine ...

Cat's life

...

The day 39th

I am telling you, it's easy life... If you are cute enough and can meoowww at the right tone at the right time, you can get whatever you want. I will come as a cat next time ;)

Soul, if you want to learn secrets,

Your heart must forget about shame

and dignity

You are God's lover,

yet you worry what people are saying.

Rumi's words always touch to the right point at the right time inside me. This is my life, my choises, my point of view and I can do whatever I want with them... I call anyone a friend who extends my life in a good way with his/her constractive critisizm. Life is too short to make it complicated...

I woke up with storm today and at some point I worried about the roof will fly to the sea !! I fed Gato and she did not come back. hmmmmm, she has something to do recently, I don't know if it's time for cats. After she knocked the door on, yes she does it. She came inside like an alien is following her, shaked her body and went her corner. Cat's life; eat, have sex, sleep, stretched out and again... easy lovely easy lovely easy lovely....

She saw her boyfriend and run to the window to look at him. I opened the door and let her go out but she wanted to stay inside. We all have choises even the cats... Comfort, easy life, fears are effect our decisions, so you must be brave to risk everything and change your life. Doesn't matter small or big changes...

Beacuse the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas...

Have a nice sunday as much as mine ;)

Is it already spring?

...

The 34 th day

As the writer's becomes a friend,

as the tool the workman uses day after day
becomes deeply familiar, so her filigreed throne
was her one attachment.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.

-Anais Nin

I want to introduce you my best friend at work, Rukiye. We are friends since 1993 and she is 15 years older than me, it means that she was my age when we met first. We've been talking about anything, from love to the endless space. I am sure you know what I mean.

The 35th day

I used to want buyers for my words.

Now I wish someone would by me away from words

We had a walk after work with Rukiye today. The weather was pretty good, there were a lot of fisherman at the sea side. We walked and talked about work and life. It would be great if we could get the best in every part of life ;)

The 36th day

When a man makes up a story for his child,

he becomes a father and a child

together, listening.

We took the first ferry with Sam today. He is going to Greece to renew his visa.We had the position to take a nap :) But after I took this photo we realized that we are not sleeping. I started to take a nap on the ferry last 1-2 months, I don't like it but I think my body needs.

The 37th day

Don't ask what love can make or do

Look at the colors of the world.

The riverwater moving in all rivers at once.

I took this photo from bus. The traffic was awful around Bebek, like " adım adım" (step by step). I had this wonderful sunset. Colors were amazing, I wish I could be able to draw this sunset. Bebek is also a harbour for small and medium size boats. This is a gulet which named "Leaf in Love", nice one.

The 38th day

Close these eyes to open the other
Let the center brighten your sight.

I don't know why it rains at the weekends. Doesn't she (!) know that I am looking forward the weekends to walk, take photos, get warmth with sun! Also we had a photography meeting for this sunday but they cancelled because of the weather.

Anyway, There are nice things too... For example small rain drops on a pink rose...

I hope you had a nice saturday as much as mine ;) and I am sure tomorrow will be better...

Love & Peace & Pink rose fairy

more than 1 week :(

...

Hello My Dear Friends :)

Ok.. It's more than 1 week but I am keep taking photographs for everyday, So here are the photo of the days ....

The 26th day

Gamble everything for love,

If you are a true human being.

If not, leave this gathering

I tried to catch this amazing sunset at Ortaköy but I couldn't...Days are getting longer now... Do you know what does it mean? SPRING !!! :) Yes, it's coming... and after then summer will come which I missed a lot. The "summer time" is on my head recently.. I want to escape from the city to small places where the sun always shine... I think I need a motorbike for it, but first a helmet. or... a licence for motorbike !!! or... maybe I should learn how to ride a bike first...

The 27th day

The heart is a wheatgrain. We are the mill
where this body is a millstone
and thought, the moving river.

This charming young girl (13th years old) is the daughter of a collegue. She has been living in another city with her grandparents and visiting her mother at the holidays because it's very difficult to raise a child in İstanbul. It's at the 21st rank at the most crowded cities in the world list with official number (9.000.000). But everybody knows that Istanbul's population is around 15.000.000 and this number makes the rank at the top ten cities ! Istanbul is also a very expensive city (at the 29th rank at the same source). There different kind of peeople like everywhere, you can not trust everybody. People need money to live and there are hundreds of way to make money in a big city and some of them are not very good. As you can see it's not easy to raise children here. If you ask me, I think I couldn't do away from my child but life has surprises for all of us and we say in turkish " don't talk big" ;)

The 28th day

ok.. it's again a title of a poem :

The source of joy

Lovely Gato, she's so beautiful isn't she? I had some work to do at the head office of Istanbul on wednesday and I finished it till noon. It's very nice to being at home in weekdays earlier, especially if it is a sunny day like this one. Sam played with Gato a little bit, then she got bored again :) She has some concencration problems. She can only focusing a few minutes on something but except food and sleeping... Easy life... I want to be a cat in my next life

The 29th day

What can you do in a cloudy rainy day like this?

Night Prayer

Now I lay me down

to stay awake.

Pray the Lord my soul to take

into your wakefulness,

so that I can get this one bit

of wisdom clear.

Grace comes to forgive

and then forgive again.

The 30th day

Who makes these changes?

I shoot an arrow right.

It lands left.

I ride after a deer

and find myself chased by a hog.

I plot to get what I want

and end up in prison

I dig pits to trap others
and fall in

I should be suspicious

of what I want.

This is incredible, I am still keep doing this even these dark days... This photo has taken when I was going to work on friday. I am sure there are thousands worse fridays but this was mine for this week and it didn't serve me to feel all right....

The 31st day

Forms move from inorganic to vegetation
to selves endowed with spirit
through the urgency of every love
that wants to come to perfection.

Thinking abouth chilly and burgundy and black ... The life is so simple. But we do it complicated sometimes. It is always same, what we play, it is life. You'll get the bonus if you play well... Don't forget this:

There is no "game over" in this game ;) or.. maybe there is, who knows...

The 32nd day

We started to the shortest month of the year. Summer is on the door baby ;) In these thoughts I wanted to take a walk around our small green island but it was freezing so I went to the top of the hill and took a few photo but they were not good. I loved this one as the sunday photo because it reminded me the old times in Istanbul. We had been playing games on the street with friends untill late evening. Actually our mothers were calling us just before our fathers' arrival time. We did not have a lot of homework to do and we were neither in a bloody competition for being first or second in the class, nor to pass the examination for private schools.

There were only a few private school and I knew that I cannot go to them. So why should I mess my holidays??? But now, the parents want their children to make their dreams true and driving them like a horse. Maybe I am so harsh but in my opinion, a child should live her/his childhood, otherwise they won't know how to love, how to enjoy the life, how to laugh and the money will be their god. or did it happen already?

The 33rd day

When I played Rumi game for this photo, I opened an empty page !

I loved this old lady with her fragile oldness. Her feet cannot touch on the ground, she is not very comfortable on the bench but she has come to this park to enjoy winter sun. Actually we have a lot of sunny days in this winter, it didn't snow very well. I don't know what shall we do in this summer for water... Maybe I should learn a water dance or a song !

Love to you all...