8 Aralık 2009 Salı
30 Kasım 2009 Pazartesi
27 Kasım 2009 Cuma
25 Kasım 2009 Çarşamba
Well she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind that's running wild
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and a fairy tale
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding the wind
When I'm sad she comes to me
With a thousand smiles she gives to me free
It's alright she says, it's alright
Take anything you want from me
Fly on little wing
19 Kasım 2009 Perşembe
19 Ekim 2009 Pazartesi
21 Eylül 2009 Pazartesi
At the beginning of the summer I had a call from my cousin Duygu and she invited me to watch their dance show. I couldn't pass this opportunity, so I joined them before the show and took some photos during the show, not only theirs but all...
It was a show of the dance school of Tan Sağtürk who is a wellknown dancer in Turkey (and europe I think). There are a lot of dance students from all ages (4-60!) and it was really nice to watch them.
27 Ağustos 2009 Perşembe
Bukola is an old friend from couchsurfing, he fell in love with Istanbul and is a repeat customer now ;)
Leandro is a collegue of Bukola, he is Porteguese which means I liked him at first sight :)
They came to Istanbul because of a wedding party of their collegue's daughter, thanks to her...
I took Bukola to my tango class as always I do to all of my friends... He helped himself when I was sweating with dance and he got a gift from this gorgeus girl, Sırma :) As you can see he is very happy with the gift on his wrist ;)
I am happy to have them around again too... I already miss his witty sense of humour :)))
17 Ağustos 2009 Pazartesi
16 Ağustos 2009 Pazar
Nilüfer & Buket
12 Ağustos 2009 Çarşamba
5 Ağustos 2009 Çarşamba
28 Şubat 2009 Cumartesi
The 58th day
Rumi game is not working since one week or so... I don't know why. If I don't feel something when I put the lines from Rumi Poetry, what is the meaning to try to do it? I'll think about it tonight, if Gato doesn't give birth...
21 Şubat 2009 Cumartesi
Evet, ilk cemre dün havaya düştü. Baharın ilk müjdecisi, havaların ısınmaya başlamasını gösteren ilk işaret olan cemrenin, birer hafta arayla havaya, suya ve toprağa düştüğü varsayılır. Aslında havaların ısınması tam tersi yönde gerçekleşir. Önce yeryüzü güneşten gelen ışınları soğurarak ısınmaya başlar, ısınan hava genleşerek yükselir. Havadaki soğuk hava aşağıya çökerken sıcak hava ile yolda kaşılaşıp yağmur olarak toprağa düşer. Bu arada dünyanın daha fazla güneş ışığı soğurmasıyla toprak daha da ısınır. Eğer bu açıklama yetmediyse daha fazla bilgiye buradan ulaşabilirsiniz.
Dünkü güzel havadan sonra bu sabah yine rüzgar ve yağmur sesleriyle uyandım ve Deli Kedi Mama Gatoyu hemen aşağıda minderi üzerinde kıvrılmış uyuyor buldum. Karnı sanki biraz küçülmüş gibi geldi ve neler olup bittiğini anlamak için elimi karnına koydum. Hiç bir hareket hissetmiyordum! Ne yapsam, sahibi arkadaşım olan Ortaköy Veteriner Kliniğini mi arasam diye düşünürken bir de reiki vereyim bakalım ne oluyor dedim. Elim Mama Gato'nun karnında kendimi reiki enerjisine açtım. Önce tek bir tekme geldi, 1-2 dakika sonra kıpırdanmalar başladı, 10 dakika sonra ise içeride bir dans partisi var sanabilirdiniz. Bunun yeterli olduğunu düşünerek elimi çektim, bütün bu süre içinde Gato yan yatmış uyuyordu. Ben elimi çekince sırtüstü yatarak haydi devam et, bu yeterli değil mesajı gönderdi :) Bir beş dakika daha reiki verdikten sonra ikimiz de iyice uyanmıştık, o su içmeye ben de yüzümü yıkamaya gittim. Güne güzel bir başlangıçtı yani.
Öğleden sonra Sam eve geldiğinde Esma Teyze'nin ona bir şeyler söylemeye çalıştığını ama anlamadığını söyleyince gidip bir bakayım dedim. Esma Teyze 70 yaşının başlarında, hala oduna baltayı sallayabilen, eğilip ot toplayabilen, sevgiyle sarıp sarmalayan, bazen bunaltıcı olabilen bir eski alevi nenesi. Ben kasımda problemler yaşarken bana kurşun falan dökmüştü hatta. Bana da öğretmesini istediğimde, böyle şeylerin ocaktan (aileden) dışarı çıkmadığını, anadan kıza geçtiğini söyedi bana. Neyse, Esma Teyzenin evine varıp camı tıklattığımda, sobayı yaktığını gelip ısınmamızı söylediğini öğrendim. Sonuç olarak benim hazırladığım salatayı alıp Esma Teyze'ye ısınmaya gittik. O da bize, çorba, kara lahana yemeği, kahvaltı tabağı, erik suyu ve çay ikram etti ;) Biraz önce tekrar gelip sobayı iyice yaktığını tekrar gelmemizi söyledi. Yemekte ne olduğunu sorsam ayıp mı olurdu acaba?
Fırtınalı küçük adamızdan sıcak sevgiler...
We seem to be sitting still,
but we are actually moving,
and the fantasies of phenomena
are sliding through us,
like ideas through curtains.
They go to the well of deep love
inside each of us.
Ok... Yesterday was a very special day because of the first cemre (any of three radiations of heat which supposedly fall in succession from the sun into the air, the water, and the earth in February and March) fell down to the air. It is a sign of that spring is coming soon very soon. Actually it happens completely different way. First land gets warm and heats the air, the hot air rises and meets with cold air. Rains fell down. and this circle keeps going...
I woke up in a windy and rainy day after yesterday's heaven. I saw Crazy Mama Gato when I looked at down and it seemed her belly is smaller now. I put my hand on his belly and there wasn't any movement but a little fever. I worried and started to think what I can do, maybe I can call my friend who is a very good vet and the owner of the Ortaköy Veteriner Kliniği. But first I decided to give reiki healing to her and opened myself to the reiki energy after I put my hand to her belly again. After a few seconds I felt first kick. Several minutes later more movements and after 10 minutes they were having a dance party inside. This is enough so she doesn't need my hand anymore. But when I pulled my hand back, she turned out and opened her belly to me for more :) And her belly is not smaller now. After 5 minutes more reiki we both woke up completely and she went to drink water and I went to bathroom to clean our faces...
When Sam Came to home afternoon he said Mama Esma tried to tell something to him. I wonder what she said because she wasn't on the island for a while, I was wondering if she is ok. I went to her house and tapped the window. She came out with her smiling face. Sam calls Esma as Mama because she is so caring to us. She is at her 70's, can swing the axe, pick the vegetables bent over for a long time, loving, caring (sometimes too much) an old alevi woman. When I had my health problems in november she helped me with her knowledge of kurşun dökmek (to melt lead and pour it into cold water over the head of a sick person in order to break an evil spell) ! I wanted to teach me this spell from her but she ignored me with " This is a family work. Only mothers can give her daughters".
Anyway, I asked what she said to Sam, her reply was " I put the wood into the stove (she has a big iron one). Come to here to get warm."
Finally we took the salad I made and went to Mama Esma to eat and chat. She preperad a table for us with; soup, savoy cabbage, 2-3 different type of cheeses, plum marmalade, plum juice, olive, fried bread and our salad ! She stopped by a few minutes before and invited us for dinner and warm place again. Should I ask what she cooked for dinner? :)
Love to all of you from our little stormy island...
20 Şubat 2009 Cuma
The 50th day
My english and turkish posts are different today. Because of I put a link about a group named İçimdeki Yolculuk (Inner Journey) which works on spiritual life in Turkey. I am sure there are lots of groups and schools in your country like this one. They have seminars about to release fear and anger, find the blocks and turn them to opportunities, etc. My friend Murad sent their link to me when I mentioned about my dreams to him. This is interesing enough to search more...
The weather is very nice today. We went to walk around the island, had sunshine, explored new roads. Mama Gato followed us 5-10 minutes after then she left us and still didn't come back. I think she decided to give birth in another house! Love is set them free, huh?
Put your vileness up to a mirror and weep.
Get that self-satisfaction flowing out of you.
Satan tought, I am better than Adam,
and that better than is still strongly in us.
"Bir nehrin akışını izliyordum. O sırada, nehrin üzerine doğru uzanmış ağaçtan bir yaprak düştü. Yaprak bir çalıya sarılıp, bir kayaya takıldı, kendi etrafında hızla dönmeye başladı. Bir girdap içinde olduğu yerde dönüp duruyordu. Arkadan nehrin akış ritmi ile kendi yolunda tutunmadan gelen bir küçük dal ona dokundu. Yaprağın da bu akış içinde, kendi yolunda, kendi hızında keyifle akmasını sağladı."
"Bu kitaplar olduğu yere takılmış akamayan bütün yapraklara dokunuş olacak.
Yolunuz açık olsun..."
Bu alıntı 1-2 gün önce rüyalarımla ilgili mesajlaştığım bir arkadaşımın "Bu siteyi incelemeni tavsiye ederim" demesiyle bana ulaştı. Yani bir başka dal, ağaçtan düşmüş yolunu arayan bir yaprağa dokundu. Teşekkürler Murad...
İçimdeki yolculuk adlı web sitesinin giriş sayfasında yer alan bu sözler nedense beni çok ekiledi. Belki her şeye açık, duygusal bir anımda olduğum için, belki de bana dokunması, beni bir yerlere yöneltmesi için... İçimdeki yolculuk, kurucusu Nil Avunduk'un yaşantımızdaki tıkanıklıkları nasıl değiştirip dönüştürebileceğimizi, affetmeyi, korku ve öfkeden kurtulmayı gerçekleştirerek nasıl daha olumlu bir hayat yaşayabileceğimizi anlatan seminerlerden ve kitaplardan oluşyor. Ben ilk fırsatta gitmeye çalışacağım, size de tavsiye ederim. Daha fazla bilgiyi burada bulabilirsiniz.
Yukarıdaki fotoğraf bugünkü ada yürüyüşümüzden. Hava o kadar güzeldi ki içeride kalamadık ve kendimizi patikalara vurduk. Mama Gato bizi bir süre takip edip sonra vazgeçti, hala da eve gelmedi. Sanırım başka bir evde doğurmaya karar verdi ! Sevmek özgür bırakmak demek değil mi zaten ;)
19 Şubat 2009 Perşembe
(English is below)
Mama Gato bütün gün yiyiyor, içiyor ve uyuyor. Ne için bekliyor bu kız? Doğuracak mı, yoksa bebekler bu sıcak ve güvenli yerden çıkmamaya mı karar verdiler. Sanırım Gato ve ben farklı açılardan aynı prosesi yaşıyoruz şu sıralar... O doğuracak... Ben... Ben büyük bir değişikliğin yaklaştığını hissediyorum. Tayinim ile ilgili değil, bundan daha büyük, daha kişisel, spiritüel bir değişim. Geçtiğimiz iki hafta çok ilginç rüyalar gördüm, sanırım bir şekilde bu rüyalar da süreçte etkili olacak. Kafanız mı karıştı? İnanın benimki sizden daha karışık ama kulaklarımın arasında biryerlerde birşeyler oluyor ;) Göreceğiz bakalım.
Ama şimdilik görebileceğiniz tek şey Mama Gato'nun koca göbeği. Bu fotoğrafta mywall bebek odası duvar kağıtlarının imajlarını kullandım, inşallah kızmazlar...
She is eating, drinking water and sleeping all day... What is she waiting for? Will she give birth? Maybe the kittens decided to stay this warm and safety place forever. I think Gato and me are living same process by different ways now. She will give birth. me? I feel a big change is coming and it is not about my transfer, more than this. Something about my life path, something spiritual. I had interesting dreams last 2 weeks and I feel they will help me in this transition time. Something's going on between my ears ;) We'll see...
But for now you can only see the huge belly of Mama Gato ;) In this image I used the mywall baby room wall paper images. You can see their beautiful works here.
when a lost hand reaches
18 Şubat 2009 Çarşamba
The 48th day
(Turkish version is below)
I think I told you before Mama Gato will give birth again. It is 70% chances tonight, 80% chances tomorrow, 90 and more next day... She doesn't know what she will do, me neither. She says meoww I give water, she says meeeeoooww I give food, but someties she is just looking to my eyes and saying a short mew !! What does it mean? If someone knows please tell me too... I went to down to the island to find a good box for her and kittens. Mission completed but she doesn't want to go inside it. Maybe it is not the correct time yet.
17 Şubat 2009 Salı
The 47th day
They both slept all day long as you see. And he is telling me that Gato is my cat ! Can you believe that?
They are very cute together and I am sure they will be very happy without me too :)
I am following a few blogs here and I saw this photo at one of them. The photo is from The International Word Press Winners and really touched me. It shows detective Robert Kole must ensure residents have moved out of their home in Cleveland, Ohio ! His posture is looking like he is waiting an attack from a serial killer or
one or more terrorists, but they are just people who live in their properties till soon. And maybe they had to move because of they couldn't pay 1-2 month of their mortgage. One of my very best friends lives in US and just bought a house with mortgage. I am really worrying about her after saw this photo...
If you went to the World Press page, I recommend you to check the other photos out too. There are a few very strong photos which Roland Barthes calls "this photo has punctum" in Camera Lucida. In my opinion Roland Barthes is a difficult writer. It takes long time to read and understand him to me :) But I liked his approach to photography in this book... If you like photography this is a bedside book with Susan Sontag's On Photography I think...
And the Rumi lines of the day:
16 Şubat 2009 Pazartesi
The 46th day
The weather is freakin cold, I think it will snow tomorrow but the sky is very clear with white clouds. I took the 14.00 ferry to go to home. When I opened the door I looked for a seat next to the heater. I saw one and went there, a guy with a nice hat was sitting opposite of me. We greeted each other and I checked the heater as always. He smiled and told me that it's working, and we started to talk about the weather, island living, Istanbul, our jobs. When the topic came to jobs he told that he is an actor on a TV show, I felt embarassed because I don't know him. Actually I don't have a TV at home, I don't like it and told him this too. He said he is not a famous actor. So... Today's photo belongs to Kadir Bey, thanks for the chat...
some song, or something, through me.
The 45th day
I went to meet with my girlfirends today. We couldn't meet for a long time and I was thinking we have lots of things to talk about. But when we met at Seyhan's house, we had dinner, chatted a little bit an started to make a puzzle !! yes, a puzzle. We are (or were?) 4 girls and 1 boy friend from Istanbul University (1998) and have stayed close since then. We went to different cities to live sometimes but we always had strong ties. This year the situation changed a lot. We have big changes in our lives and became self-centered I think. I missed my old days with my friends. Today's photo is Nesrin's legs! We had a lot of laughs with Seyhan. Actually she has very nice legs as you can see but... I took 2 photos, so you can see why it was so funny...
She had nice black shoes and red coat but she was freezing when arrived to house and changed her shoes first, so we had a little fun with her ;)
Who knows what is best for a sandgrin
or a drop of water, who opens
and closes our ability to love
14 Şubat 2009 Cumartesi
13 Şubat 2009 Cuma
The 43rd day
An empty mirror and your worst destructive habits
The 42nd day
not knowing which way I was going,
This is the Kabataş ferry dock where I use to go to west or come from east ! Actually what is the east and west? Who decided which one is it? And if you are in India Istanbul is west. If you are in Greece it is east. Really? Is it only a line to divide us east-west, north-south? I am against all the borders, all the prejudices, all the politics and time ;)
The 40th day
I have brought you a mirror.
Look at youself and remember me.
This is the worse part of the 365 project, you have to take everyday a photo even you don't feel in a mood for photography or the weather cloudy, dark and wet. But I have to keep doing... This photo is one of them. The light wasn't good, it was raining, i wasn't feel all right. But when I played the Rumi game with this photo it made sense a little bit. Photos or days like this one are mirrors for me which the universe sent. If I see dark side at the mirror how can I wait good things from the universe? So... shine baby shine ...
8 Şubat 2009 Pazar
The day 39th