MIRACLES OF DAILY LIFE

1 dolar + 1 bisiklet = dünya turu / 1 dollar + 1 bike = world trip

2010-11-02T18:47:00.009+02:00

(english is below)

Bugün üyesi olduğum sırtçantalılar grubundan gelen bir haberi sizinle paylaşmak istiyorum. Benim için anlamı büyük, neden mi? Haberin başlığı şöyle "1 dolar ile dünya turu yaptı" ;)
İlgilenenler haberin tamamını buradan okuyabilirler. Yalnız komik olan bir şey var ki kullanılan görsel dünya turunu yapan kişiye ait değil :) Yurdum haberciliği işte ne yapalım. Dünya turunu yapan hintli Ram Chandra Biswas'ı burada görebilirsiniz.
Biswas'ın ülkesine döndüğünde söyledikleri ise evrensel bir gerçeği yansıtıyor sanırım: " Dünya turu sırasında bindiğim hiç bir gemi, uçak veya otobüs için para ödemedim, insanlar bana karşı çok iyi ve yardımseverdi. Hindistan hariç (!). Sadece kendi ülkemde temel ihtiyaçlar için bile para ödemek zorundayım." Tanıdık gelen bir şeyler var değil mi? :)

Dolapdere

I want to share a news with you today which I received from a member of backpackers group. It means a lot to me, do you know why? The capture of the news is " world trip with 1 dollar" ;)

You can read whole story from here ... I smiled when I read his last words about his trip:

“I have boarded almost every ship, airplane and car but never paid a single penny outside India. It is only here that I have to pay even for accommodation." I think this is a common reality :)

photo of the day / günün fotoğrafı #50

2010-10-10T20:29:00.000+03:00

- There is something wrong with fb photo uploader so I had to do it here... Come and see my photo :))

- fb fotoğraf yükleyicisi ile ilgili bir problem yaşıyorum. Bu nedenle günün fotoğrafını bloga yükledim. Buraya da bekleriz efendim :)

Antalya

You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed...

- Little Prince

şehir efsanesi mi gerçek mi? / is it true?

2010-10-07T23:28:00.000+03:00

Bugün her yerde bir facebook kapatılacak muhabbeti dönüp duruyor. Bilirim, büyüklerimiz bir icraat gerçekleştirmeden önce şöyle bir nabız yoklarlar, arkadan gelecek b..kun önce kokusunu yollarlar... Evet mi hayır mı, iran mı ırak mı derken YÖK türbanı serbest bıraktı. Arkasından bu fb kapatılma söylentisi. Aziz Nesin'in bir hikayesi vardır çok severim, ismi "dur bakalım ne olacak"...

Hadi hayırlısı...

Haa bu arada facebook kapatılırsa "günün fotoğrafı" burada devam edecek, ilgilenenlere duyurulur :)

....

Everybody talks about that the government in Turkey will close facebook soon... I don't know if it is true or false but I wanted to inform you that my "photo of the day" album will continue here if it happens...

Keep following me :)

Nothing can help me but that beauty.

There was a dawn I remember

when my soul heard something from your soul.

...

Rumi

under construction! inşaat var-girmeyiniz

2010-09-25T10:31:00.000+03:00

People living deeply have no fear of death.

- Anais Nin

Yapmam gereken bir sürü şey var ve hiçbirini yapamıyorum. Bu işi planlı hale getirmem lazım demek ki...
1- Yapılacaklar listesi yap
2- Çalışma takvimi hazırla
3- Ben bunu daha önce de yaptım galiba, arayıp onu bulayım :))
....

I have lots of things to do and I don't know where I'll start from. I have to plan what I'll do, so...
1- Make a list of things to do
2- Make a workflow calender
3- I think I've done it before, it's better if I find it :))

Action!

2010-07-06T20:51:00.002+03:00

I decided to take an action to make my life better ! I love photography and I want to be happy at my work, so I should do photography as work! This is very easy desicion actually :) But how I will make it? Is it possible to make my dreams come true? As soon as possible please :) Is there any answer out of the cyberspace?

Cat session

2010-05-30T00:01:00.005+03:00

Recently I photographed cats for a lady who has more than 50 of them ! She is willing to find good families to them so one of her friends has sent a message to freecycle istanbul group to find a photographer to take their photographes for the advertisement. They were looking for a professional but I answered her message and at last I got a very interesting cat session :)

Some of you will remember that I used to look after a cat family at the island home. But this time those cats really didn't like me at all... They tried to escape from my camera always. They scared, get angry, run around like crazy :)

Finally I got around 300 hundreds shots but I am not satisfied with them. I don't think that they can find a good family with those pictures :)

Good night to all of you

...

Reflection

2010-05-28T23:43:00.003+03:00

Reflection in Taksim

If you would say I don't exist,

I would be grateful.

...

-Rumi

The bright core of failure

2010-05-27T00:21:00.005+03:00

Detail of San Telmo Street Market, Buenos Aires

Sometimes you enter the heart.
Sometimes you are born from the soul.
Sometimes you weep a song of separation.
It is all the same glory.

You live in beautiful forms,
and you are the energy that breaks form.
All light, neither this nor that.

Human beings go places on foot.
Angels, with wings.

Even if they find nothing but ruins
and failure, you are the bright core of that

- Rumi

Wedding shot

2010-05-16T23:08:00.004+03:00

Ceyda ve Halim'e mutluluklar... Ceyda'nın fotoğraflarını çekmek bir zevkti...

It was a pleasure to photograph Ceyda... I wish all happiness to Ceyda&Halim...

Travel Diary vol.3

2010-05-11T18:14:00.016+03:00

Bugün otobüste işten eve dönerken aklımda neler yazacağımı kurdum, daha doğrusu başka şeyler düşünürken birden akılma geldi. Hani esin perisi derler ya işte öyle bir aydınlanma anıydı :) Ama şimdi hepsi uçup gitti, bu esin perisi pek nazlı bir şey vesselam. Geldiği anda ilgilenmezsen hemen küsüp gidiyor...

I was planning what I'll write to my blog today when I was returning to home on the bus. It was a lightening moment, you know the little muse started to fly around my head :) But all of those thoughts flied away now, this muse demands lots of care and if you don't she easily goes her way to another lucky head.

Yazacaklarım aklımdan çıktı ama yazmam gerektiği düşüncesi halen yerinde olduğundan uçup giden güzel kelimeler olmadan geziyi anlatmaya devam edeyim. Biliyorum çok zaman geçti, tembellik ettim, yaşadıklarım ve gördüklerim şimdiden bir anı tadında... Yine de bu güzellikleri paylaşmak, mümkün olduğunca çok kişiyi seyahat böceği tarafından ısırtmak en büyük dileğim :)
I forgot what I'll write but the need of write is still there. So I am keep writing without nice descriptions :) I know that I am lazy, time is passing fast and the moments I lived there already became memories. However I want to share those beauties and make people to biten by the travel bug :)

Hah şimdi aklıma geldi, bugün gelecek seyahatimle ilgili araştırma yaparken Avustralyalı 21 yaşında bir genç kızın tek başına yolculukla ilgili gönderisine rastladım travelblog sitesinde. Bunun üzerine kendi yolculuklarım geldi aklıma ve "tek başına seyahat" mi yoksa "arkadaş grubu ile seyahat" mi daha iyi diye düşünmeye başladım. Düşünme prosedürümle ilgili fazla ayrıntıya girmeyeceğim, bir kadın beyninin nasıl çalıştığı hakkında eminim fikir sahibisinizdir :)) Sonuç olarak bazı yerlere tek başına seyahat etmenin arkadaşlarla gitmek kadar keyifli olmayacağına karar verdim. İşte Patagonya böyle bir yerdi benim için. Gördükleriniz karşısında duyduğunuz hayranlığı belirten "ah!oh! " sesleri çıkarmaya başladığınızda çevrenizdekiler sizi yanlış anlayabilir çünkü :)

Ok... Now I remember what was the thought on the way. I found a post on travelblog when I was searching tips for my next destination. The post was written by a 21 years old Australian girl about traveling solo. Upon this I started think about "traveling solo" or "traveling with a group (friends)" is better? I won't talk about my "thinking prosedure", I am sure you have an idea how a woman's brain works ;) Finally I decided to traveling to some special places is funnier than solo. Patagonia is a kind of destination to me because you may not to feel strange yourself when you were saying something like "ah! oh!" :P

Bugün El Calafate'deki ikinci günümüzden fotoğraflarım var. Aslında bu fotoğrafları koymalı mıyım diye çok düşündüm, çünkü fotoğraflar buzulların güzelliğini, muhteşemliğini anlatmakta yetersiz kalıyor.

I have photographes from my secon day in El Calafate. I thought a lot if I should upload these photos because they are so weak to describe the beauty and grandiosity (I found this word from dictionary :P)...

Avlanma / Hunting

Buzulları gezmek için bir tura yazıldık ve sabah erkenden Puerto Bandera'ya doğru yola koyulduk. Burada bizi buzullara götürecek olan tekneye bindik. Onelli buzulu kırılmalardan dolayı ziyarete kapatıldığı için Perito Moreno'yu tura dahil ettiklerini söylediler. Buna hiç kimsenin üzüldüğünü sanmıyorum :) Fotoğrafta tur rehberlerimizi (! ;) buzul avlarken görüyorsunuz.

We reserved a tour to visit the glacier national park and headed to Puerto Bandera where we'll take the tour boat at early morning. When we reach there, the tour guides told us that they changed the route because of the big breakings on Onelli Glacier and we'll go to Perito Moreno instead. I don't think that anybody sad because of the change :) You can see our tour guides at the photo whrn they were hunting for a piece of glacier.

Yeme / Eating

Tabi ki milyonlarca yıllık buzul parçasının tadına bakacaktım, değil mi ama?

Of course I tasted the milliones years ice, it was delicious ;)

Devasa / Huge

Kendinizi buzulların yanında küçücük hissediyorsunuz.

You feel yourself very small near the glaciers.

Gökyüzü / Sky

Gökyüzü bir başka güzel Patagonya'da...

The sky is always beautiful in Patagonia

Milli Park / National Park

Tekne turu bittikten sonra biletlerimizin kara yolu için de geçerli olduğunu görerek araba ile milli parka geçtik. Perito Moreno'ya yaklaşabildiğimiz kadar yaklaştık ve dinledik. Sürekli çıtırtılar ve kırılma sesleri, göz alabildiğine uzanan 1 saniyede donmuş nehir görüntüsü ve gün batımı ışıkları ile gözümüzü, gönlümüzü,ruhumuzu besledik.

We saw that our tickets includes the national park tour by foot too so we headed to the park to see Perito Moreno closer. We just walked and staned there with listening the sounds of breaks, watching the amazing scenery like a river frozen at one second. And we fed our eyes, hearts and souls with this under sunset.

Ayten, Ebru ve ben buzulun keyfini çıkarırken, fotoğraflayan tabi ki dördüncümüz Temel Ayten, Ebru and me are enjoying the glacier, photography by Temel

Günün keşifleri / Look what I found today !

2010-05-09T11:21:00.004+03:00

İlk olarak facebook sayfasında yanlışlıkla bir yere tıklayınca karşıma bir renk testi reklamı çıktı, bir de baktım ödülü de varmış. Ödül tam benim iştahımı kabartacak cinsten, ne olduğunu eminim tahmin etmişsinizdir :) 1 haftalık yurt dışı tatili! Hem de Tayland'da! Siz de katılmak isterseniz buraya tıklayın...

Sorry guys but the first announcement for my turkish firends but this one is a beautiful story which will make you grateful or adventurer in some way ! My friend Beth has sent this article to her FB page and I really loved the story when I read. It's about a woman who lost her job, home and car but not her humanity ;) You can check it here...

and the photo of the day is from my south america trip. El Chalten is a small town in Patagonia. The reflected image of the town is mt.Fitz Roy but I loved this yellow roof pension too :)

El Chalten, Argentina

A human being is essentially

a spirit-eye

Whatever you really see,

you are that

Sublime Generosity

2010-05-08T23:32:00.002+03:00

...

The power of love came into me,

and I became fierce like a lion,

then tender like the evening star.

...

The flower's eye

2010-05-07T23:09:00.003+03:00

On the way to Datça Find me near the flower's eye

that takes in provocation

and begins to grow

Love is a baby that struggles

and fights, stops nursing, then runs out

through the door, escaping as a fire

jumping to the next burn.

Travel Diary vol.2 / Gezi Günlüğü Bölüm 2 ... First Impressions

2010-02-22T22:21:00.036+02:00

20 Ocak 2010

English is later...

LAN Havayollarının El Calafate uçuşu sabah 6’da olduğundan havaalanında bir köşe bulup hepimiz uykuya çekildik. Saat 9.30’da El Calafate’ye vardığımızda hava ha yağdı ha yağacak bir haldeydi. Kiraladığımız araba bizi havaalanında bekliyordu, arabaya doluşup 4 gün kalacağımız Hostel de Las Manos’a doğru yola koyulduk.

On the way to El Calafate

Hostele geldiğimizde hoş bir sürpriz bizi bekliyordu. Resepsiyondaki teyze bir kelime bile ingilizce bilmiyordu ve rezervasyonumuzu bulamadı ! Daha sonra bu durumun çok da olağandışı olmadığını gördük. Arjantin’de ingilizce yaygın olarak kullanılmıyor. Turistik yerlerde bile çalışanlar ispanyolca konuşuyor. Sanırım bu biraz da tepkisel bir davranış. Neyse ki ben yola çıkmadan önce 2-3 gün Yavuz ile ispanyolca çalışıp en azından sayıları falan öğrenmiştim, çok yardımı oldu bu bilgilerin gerçekten.

Hostel de Las Manos

Neyse sonuçta rezervasyonumuz bulundu ve valizlerimizi odalarımıza bırakıp günü değerlendirmek üzere kendimizi tekrar sokağa attık.

Lago Roca and summer flowers

Rotamız şehre yakın bir göl olan Lago Roca. Yolu bulmakta hafif bir güçlük çektiysek de azimle hedefimize varmayı başardık.

Lago Roca under the rain

Göl kenarına doğru yürümeye başladığımızda hafif hafif yağmur çiseliyordu. Hava kapalı olmasına rağmen manzara bizi mest etmişti. Patagonyadaki günlerimiz sona erdiğinde farkettim ki Lago Roca gördüğümüz en basit manzaraydı !

On the way back to the city

Şehre dönüş yoluna çıktığımızda akşam olmuştu, yani bizim saatimize göre, çünkü saat 8 olmasına rağmen güneş hala tepedeydi. Daha sonra gördük ki Patagonya’da güneş saat 10.30 gibi batıyor. El Calafate’ye vardığımızda yolda bozulan arabayı rent a car şirketine bırakıp değişimini beklerken biraz yürüyüş yapmaya karar verdik.

Houses in El Calafate

Ve tatilin ilk gününü güzel bir Bodega fin del mundo şarabı ile sonlandırdık.

Elba'r

Travel diary vol.1 / Gezi günlüğü bölüm 1... Gide gide yollar mı aşınır?

2010-02-21T23:56:00.012+02:00

English is at the below...

Geçmişe doğru hatırlamak biraz zor olsa da Güney Amerika gezisinde yaşadıklarımı gün gün sizinle paylaşmaya çalışacağım. Tabi ki fotoğraflarla...

18-19 Ocak 2010

18 Ocak Pazartesi günü hastanede TSE denetiminin ilk günüydü, bir yandan 1-2 aydır süregelen denetim stresi bitecek diye sevinirken bir yandan da “tam da bugünü mü buldular denetime gelecek” diye kızıyordum kendi kendime. Neyseki denetimin ilk gününü kazasız belasız atlattık ve yol arkadaşım Temel’in evine gittik.

Temel at Iguaçu falls

Temel iş arkadaşım, bizim hastanede ortopedi uzman doktoru olarak görev yapıyor ayrıca fotoğraf sergileri ve kitaplarından kalan zamanlarda bir fakültede anatomik fotoğrafçılık dersleri veriyor.

Ebru enjoying morning sun at Copacabana

Ebru, diş doktoru ve Temelin kız arkadaşı. Kendisini bu fotoğrafta Copacabana güneşinden yararlanırken görüyorsunuz :)

Ayten, 20 gün boyunca aynı zamanda oda arkadaşımdı. 60lı yaşların başında, Hititolojide doçentlik yapmış, arkeolog, dağcı, paraşütçü, dalgıç, dünya üstünde gezmediği ülke sayısı iki elin parmaklarından az olan ve daha bilmediğim bir sürü özelliği olan harika bir Türk kadını.

Türk kadını kısmını ısrarla vurguluyorum çünkü TED kolejinde okurken okul harçlığı ile alarak içine güncel olayları yazdığı, üzerine resimler yaptığı testileri bahçeye gömmeden önce “Yazan: Türk kızı Ayten” diye imzalarmış. Bu müthiş kadın şu anda Amasya’nın en büyük çiftliklerinden birinin sahibi ve tohumculuk yapıyor, bir dönem Amasyaspor başkanlığı bile yapmış ! Bütün bu özelliklerinin ötesinde çok zeki, hoş sohbet ve uyumlu bir yol ve oda arkadaşıydı. Bana verdiği hediyeyi ise hiç bir zaman unutmayacağım kesin.

Madrid Airport

Uçuşumuz sabah 6.55’te Atatürk havaalanından olduğu için gece 3’te Temel ve Ebru ile taksi tutup havaalanına gittik ve Ayten’le buluştuk. Rötarsız kalkan uçağımız 4 saatlik sorunsuz bir uçuştan sonra Iberia havayollarının aktarma noktası olan Madrid’e indi.

2 saatlik bir bekleyiş sonrası bizi asıl yoracak olan Buones Aires uçağına bindik. 15 saatlik uçuş, 3 öğün uçak yemeği, çıkarılmış ayakkabılar, uyku uyanıklık arası gidip gelmeler, kötü filmler ve eşek şakası görüntüleri ile çabucak geçti ve 19 Ocak Salı akşam 21.30’da BA’in ışıklarını gördük. Avrupanın 7 tepeli başkentlerinin aksine BA dümdüz bir ovada uzanan oldukça büyük bir şehir gibi görünüyordu ama biz şehrin keşfini sonraki gelişimize erteleyerek oldukça uzun süren pasaport kontrolünden geçip bizi son durağımız olan El Calafate’ye götürecek LAN havayollarının kalktığı Aeroparque havaalanına doğru yola çıktık.

...........

18-19 January 2010

It’s hard to remember the past time but I’ll try to share my experiences and days I lived in my South America trip. With my photos of course...

18th January was the first day of my hospital’s ISO (Quality management System) auditing. I was happy that my busy days were ending at last but I was anxious at the same time, like “Pufff they found the best day to audit us ” Hopefully the day passed without any problem and I went to Temel’s house who also is one of my travel buddies. He is an orthopedic surgeon at my hospital and teaching anatomic photography at a fine art academy !

The other members of the group are;

Ebru, she is a dentist and Temel’s girlfriend.

Ayten is doing stretching at Estancia Harberton and yes she is 60 !!!

Ayten, she was my roommate during our travel. She is at her early 60s, hittitology professor, archaeologist, diver, climber, parachute jumper, a real traveler ( there are less than 10 countries she haven’t traveled!) and a Turkis woman who has much more traits I didn’t count here.

I am emphasizing strongly this “Turkish woman” part because she told that when she was at primary school she has been buying clay jugs and putting inside them letters which she has written the daily news and sealing them with “ Turkish girl Ayten”. This amazing woman is in farming business now. She has one of the biggest farm in Amasya and selling seeds to all over the world. She has even become a president of a soccer club (first woman in Turkey) ! Besides those traits she was the best roommate with her passion, warmth and gracious. I cannot forget the gift she gave me in this trip too...

Our Iberia flight to Madrid was at 6.55 in the morning so we went to Ataturk airport at 3 with Ebru and Temel and met with Ayten there.

early morning colors from the plane

After 4 hours flight we arrived to Madrid and waited 2 hours for the connection flight to Buones Aires. After 3 times meal, without shoes, bad movies, horrible gigs, sleeps and wake-ups and 15 hours flight we saw the city lights of BA.

Contrary of the european 7 hills capitals BA seemed very flat to me but we delayed to explore to the city and transferred to the Aeroparque airport where we’ll wait till next morning for our next flight to El Calafate.

the bag is packed :) ... çantam hazıııır

2010-01-17T20:34:00.005+02:00

I don't believe myself but I have only one luggage and a small bacpack (for camera) for my travel to Argentina and Brasil ! And I'll stay 3 weeks ! There is something wrong here, I think I forgot something to put my luggage :)

I wont be around for 1 month as you understand. But don't worry I'll keep taking photos for everyday ;) Just I couldn't do it for 2 days :P

Nice travel to me :)

14.01.2010- Taksim Square

The heart is a wheatgrain. We are the mill

- Rumi

......

Kendime inanamıyorum ama sadece 1 valiz ve kamera çantamla yola çıkacak gibi görünüyorum ! Hem de 3 hafta kalacağım oralarda... Sanırım çantaya koymayı unuttuğum şeyler çıkacak ama Arjantin'de telafi ederiz artık :)

1 Ay kadar ortalarda görünmeyeceğim ama her gün için bir fotoğraf çekmeye devam. Sadece 2 gün fire verdim şimdiye kadar...

Hadi bana iyi yolculuklar :)

16.01.2010 - lottery seller on the train

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.

- Rumi

Sometimes...

2010-01-13T22:03:00.004+02:00

Sometimes I don't like İstanbul, specially when there is rain, traffic and hard work :) Today's photo taken on my way to work from UMKE base on a truck ! Don't ask me what the hell I was doing there :) I am totally lost at work nowadays... Still counting down for Argentina, 5 days ;)

Every object and being in the universe is a jar

overfilled with wisdom and beauty, a drop of the Tigris

that cannot be contained by any skin. Every jarful

spills and makes the earth more shining,

as though covered in satin.

- Rumi

List of things to do / Yapılacaklar listesi

2010-01-12T23:23:00.004+02:00

Ok... There is only one week to my travel and I didn't prepare anything ! There are a lot of things to do on my mind and I decided to make a list of things to do. Then I changed my mind and decided to DO instead of to make a list :) I'll start soon... very soon :))

Yolculuğa sadece 1 hafta kaldı ve ben hala lay lay lom ortalıkta dolanıyorum. Yapılacak o kadar çok şey var ki, bari bir yapılacaklar listesi hazırlayayım dedim ama sonra liste hazırlamak yerine YAPMAYA karar verdim :) Peki başlangıç olarak ne yaptım? Tabi ki tango dersine gittim :))) Yakında hazırlıklara başlayacağım, çok yakında... Veya birileri Arajantin'e paket yollayacak benim için :P

We are the night ocean filled

with glints of light. We are the space

between the fish and the moon,

while we sit here together.

- Rumi

escape from work / işten kaçış

2010-01-11T21:02:00.003+02:00

I had a terrible headache today so I decided to escape from work at lunch time for a short walk to Emirgan. My friend Yuki (Rukiye Abla) joined to me and ww walked along the shore with a beautiful scene. My headache get more terrible but it was nice to being outside.

Bugün nedense korkunç bir başağrısı ile uyandım, geçer diye bekleyerek işe gittim, bu arada harika bir sabah fotoğrafı çektim bakınız flickr ... Geçmedi kör olasıca ve hatta daha da kötüleşti. Öğlen arasında bir yürüyüş iyi gelir diyerek Rukiye Abla ile Emirgan'a doğru uzandık. Hava çok güzel ama rüzgarlı, baş ağrısına kulak ağrısı da eklendi :P

Kısa günün karı bir kaç güzel kare oldu, baş ağrım da 2-3 aylık iş yükü sırtıma binince geçiverdi :))

Günün fotoğrafı tabi ki Emirgan sahilinden...

There are values in pain that are difficult

to see without the presence of a guest

Don't complain about autumn.

Walk with grief like a good friend.

Listen to what he says.

Sometimes the cold and dark of a cave

give the opening we most want.

- Rumi

tango passion!

2010-01-10T23:18:00.004+02:00

Bugün tango pratik günümüzdü. Benim için gidiş biraz zor oldu 2 ağır çanta ile. Tango sayesinde tanıştığım sevgili Gül (bu yaştan sonra artık yakın arkadaş edinilmez derken beni yanıltan - neyse ki ;) daha sonra resmini yapmak için dans ederken fotoğrafını çekmemi istemişti. Yine tango sınıfından Hakan'ı da partner olması için ayartarak bugün çekim yaptık :)

Benim çok içime sinmedi fotoğraflar, ışık yetersizdi ve modeller çabuk sıkıldı. Hatta zamanın çoğunda ben poz vermek zorunda kaldım :P Hazır tango fotoğrafı çekiliyorken ben de cicilerimi giydim ve poz verdim, Gül üstüne düşeni gayet güzel başardı... Hakan'a zaten sözümüz yok :)) Her ne kadar cicileri giysem de her daim "skinny legs and all" kalacağım fotoğraflarda bir kez daha yüzüme vuruldu !

Her şeye rağmen VIVA TANGO !!!

I reach for a piece of wood. It turns into a lute.

I do some meanness. It turns out helpful.

I say one not travel during the holy month.

Then I start out, and wonderful things happen.

- Rumi

Yalnızız... We are all alone...

2010-01-09T21:43:00.004+02:00

I got this photo on my way to Florya with my niece today. It has "punctum" for me, I don't know why. But this picture made me sad and hopeful at the same time, weird ! Maybe it represents the ends with old building but also the refreshment with the trees vhich will be green in spring again and again...

Dünyaya gelenler gider

Hergiz gelmez yola gider

Bizim halimizden haber

Soranlara selam olsun

- Yunus Emre

Bir parça ekmek için...

2010-01-08T23:03:00.003+02:00

Richard Bach'ın Martı'sını okuyanlarınız vardır, bu kitap benim martılara (!) bakış açımı değiştirmeme sebep olmuştu. Ama son günlerde bakıyorum da martılar yine o eski gürültücü, çapulcu, hazıra konmayı seven, nerede beleş orada yerleş martılar haline gelmişler... Acaba ben mi çok karamsarım da böyle görüyorum yoksa hakikaten dünyanın çivisi mi çıkmış?

There is something in us

that has nothing to do with night and day,

grapes that never saw a vineyard.

WE ARE ALL RETURNING

- Rumi

and the winner is...

2010-01-07T19:44:00.003+02:00

I am SO lazy today (ok not only today :P) so I did not take any photos all day long and when I came to home I realized that I have to put something in the basket ;) I just checked my lottery and saw that I am a winner ! It's the minimum price but it's ok :) I am the winner of the life lottery as all of us...

Don't let your throat tighten

with fear. Take sips of breath

all day and night, before death

closes your mouth.

- Rumi

ve bugün ... and today...

2010-01-06T23:44:00.003+02:00

Bugünün fotoğrafı 17 yıllık sevgili arkadaşım, ablam, sırdaşım Rukiye ablanın fotoğrafı. Poz vermeyi hiç sevmez ve objektife direkt bakarsa kameranın ruhunu çalacağını düşündüğünden gözleri hep uzaklara odaklanır :)

Bugün uzun bir aradan sonra ilk defa Taksim'e kahve içmeye gittik, e tabi oralara kadar gitmişken fal baktırmamak da olmaz ;) Her ne kadar beklediğim şeyleri duymasam da çok tutarlı bir kahve + tarot falı baktırdım. Bizim fal merkezimiz (!) Ayhan Işık sokaktaki Symbol Cafe, araya reklamı da aldık böylece :)

Rukiye Abla ile fal bakma üzerine konuşmamız sonucunda şu çıkarıma vardık; Bilim adamları tüm insanlığın akraba olduğunu ve geçmişimizin DNA'larımızda kodlandığını bulmuşlar. Biz de diyoruz ki eğer geçmişimiz DNA'da kodlanmışsa neden gelecek için de aynı şey geçerli olmasın Eğer her şey şu anda olup bitiyorsa ve zaman soldan sağa giden bir doğru değil de yukarıdan aşağıya giden bir doğruysa ve bütün anlar üst üste sıralanıyorsa falcı dediğimiz kişiler de bu anlara bakabilme kapasitesine sahip kişilerse ?

Biz insanların geleceği öğrenme kaygısı acaba AN'ı yaşayamamızdan mı kaynaklanıyor?

In your light I learn how to love.

In your beauty, how to make poems.

You dance inside my chest,

where no one sees you,

but sometimes I do,

and that light becomes this art.

- Rumi

dün... yesterday...

2010-01-06T23:21:00.003+02:00

Bir gün geriden gitmeye başladım bile 365 projesinde ama nedenlerim var :) Dün harika bir tango dersi oldu, o kadar keyifliydi ki ders bittikten sonra da ayrılamadım ve dans etmeye devam ettim. Sonuçta eve geldiğimde gece yarısı olmuştu ve Sindrella külkedisine dönüştü :P

Tango dersleri ilerledikçe daha fazla keyif almaya başladım, keyif aldıkça daha iyi dans eder oldum, yani umuyorum ki daha iyi dans ediyorum ;) Bunu bilenlere sormak lazım...

Dünün fotoğrafı yine dün katıldığım UMKE olağan toplantısından. UMKE'nin açılımı Ulusal Medikal Kurtarma Ekibi ve ben de 3 yıldır İstanbul UMKE'nin üyesiyim. UMKE'nin kuruluş amacı ulusal veya uluslararası afetlerde sağlık hizmeti sunulmasının organize hale getirilmesi. Tüm UMKE üyeleri afet triyajı (yaralıların derecelendirilmesi), temel ve ileri yaşam desteği, telsiz, çadır kurma, enkazdan veya araçtan yaralı çıkarma gibi eğitimleri alır ve yılda en az 2 kez olmak üzere tatbikatlar gerçekleştirilir. Daha fazla bilgi için buraya tıklayabilirsiniz...

Fotoğraftaki araç bir Unimog, arazi ambulansı da diyebiliriz. Afet halinde yolların durumu da göz önüne alınarak bu tür araçlar kullanılır. Unimoglar normal araçlardan daha yüksek ve daha güçlüdür. Eh, bu kadar reklam yeter sanırım :)

Your deepest presence

is in every small contracting and expanding,

the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated

as birdwings

- Rumi

Bridge over troubled water...

2010-01-04T22:06:00.003+02:00

It's a new day
It's a new dawn
It's a new life
and I'm feeling good !

It's a new year
It's a new beginning
and I'm feeling refreshed :)

The keys that open all gates

are strapped to love's chest.

- Rumi

Şile macerası ... Şile adventure

2010-01-03T23:31:00.003+02:00

Bugünkü turistik gezimiz Şile'yeydi. Sabah Gül'ün Ortaköy'den bizi almasıyla başlayan gün biraz soğuk ve yağmur nedeniyle zorlansak da harika geçti. Uzun zamandır bu kadar keyifli vakit geçirmemiştim.

Couchsurfing vasıtasıyla tanıştığım fotoğraf arkadaşım Barış şoförlüğü üstlenerek bu işin altından alnının akıyla çıkmayı başardı :) Özellikle günün sonunda akşam yemeği olarak önerisi sonsuz bir zevk kaynağı oldu :)) Eyüp'te, sahil yolunda yer alan Okyanus Restaurantta harika bir uykuluk yedik. Ve günü Nevizade sokakta Akdeniz Bar'da noktaladık. Eve dönerken kar yağmaya başladı! Ama uzun sürmedi ne yazık ki...

Bugün günün fotoğrafı Şile dalgakıranında çektiğim fotoğraflardan oluşan HDR çalışması oldu. Biraz fazla dramatik ama ben beğendim :)

I used to be shy

You made me sing

I used to refuse things at table

Now I shout for more wine

- Rumi

İstanbul'u yeniden keşfetmek... Exploring Istanbul

2010-01-02T18:13:00.003+02:00

Monika ve Etienne ile turistik İstanbul gezimiz bugün Ayasofya, Kapalıçarşı ve Eminönü'nü içeriyordu. Yılbaşı öncesi kalabalık kalmasa da Mısır Çarşısı'nda kalabalıktan kaçmak için kendimi dışarı atmak zorunda kaldım. Neyse ki panik atak olayı son buldu artık, yoksa hiç kurtuluşu yoktu :)
Ayasofya'yı bir kez de içeride kimse olmadan görmek ve fotoğraflamak istiyorum ama pek mümkün görünmüyor. Neyse, ben yorulduğum için misafirleri bırakıp eve döndüm, onlar hala geziyorlar. Gelirken de bana yiyecek bir şeyler getirecekler :) Lüküs hayat oh ne rahat...
İkinci günümüzü de böylece atlattık yani. Yarına Allah kerim...

No matter we're in a prison of forgetting

or enjoying the banquet of wisdom,

we are always inside presence.

- Rumi

Yeni senenin ilk günü kutlu olsun...Happy first day of 2010 :)

2010-01-01T23:24:00.004+02:00

Yeni bir yıla nasıl başlarsan öyle gider derler. Umarım 2010'un her günü en az bugün kadar keyifli ve mutlu geçer.

Bu sene yeni yıla evde tek başıma girmeye karar vermişken tesadüfi bir skype mesajlaşması sırasında Budapeşte'deki arkadaşlarım Etienne ve Monika yeni yılı İstanbul'da karşılamaya karar verdiler. Son ana kadar bir program yapamadığımız için yaklaşık 1 saat nereye otursak ne yapsak diye Taksim'de dolanmakla geçti. Neyseki yanımızda Cumhur vardı bizi Baykuş'a götürdü de yeni yılı sokaklarda aranırken karşılamaktan kurtulduk :)
2010'a girişimizin tuhaflığını pas geçecek olursak... Bugün harika bir güne uyandık (biraz geç de olsa) ve Anadolu yakasına geçmeye karar verdik. Önce Ortaköy Aysu Börek'ten kahvaltılıklarımızı alıp Beşiktaş motor iskelesinde aldık soluğu... Üsküdar hala tüp geçit şantiyesi karmaşasında, yollar gide gide bitmiyor. Kuvvetli lodos eşliğinde Salacak'ta Kız Kulesi'ne karşı tatlılarımızı yedik ve Kadköy'e doğru yola devam ettik.

Sevgili arkadaşlarıma Haydarpaşa Tren İstasyonu'nu göstermeden olmazdı tabi ki... Benim için de yeni geniş açı objektifimi denemek için fırsat çıktı, gördüm ki daha çoookk çalışmam lazım :)

Haydarpaşa'dan Kadıköy'e yürümeye devam ederken harika bir gün batımı seyretme ve de fotoğraflama fırsatımız oldu. Bugünün fotoğrafı Kadıköy'den, Beşiktaş Vapur İskelesi...

Bilmiyorum farkettiniz mi ama sanki yeni bir 365 projesi başlıyor gibi, hadi hayırlısı...

Herkese iyi seneler ve sevgiler...

A candle is made to become entirely flame.

In that annihilating moment

it has no shadow.

- Rumi

at the end...

2009-12-08T16:45:00.003+02:00

Bir şeyleri geride bırakmak hep zor gelir insana. Bazen alışkanlıklarımızdan vazgeçemediğimiz için, bazen zamansız kayıplar olduğu için, bazense sadece geride bırakmak istemediğimiz için... Kabullenmek zordur bittiğini, eskidiğini, eksildiğini. Ama unutmamak gerekir ki her son yeni bir başlangıçtır ve bazen son vermek süründürmekten iyidir.

Yine de ... Ah! kalbim acıyor!

It's always difficult to leave something. Sometimes we cannot give up our addictions, sometimes our losts are timeless and sometimes we just don't want to leave something behind us. It's difficult to accept that it finished, it became old, it's not growing anymore. But we should remember that "all the ends are also new startups" and sometimes to give an end is better than to lead a dog's life.

still... My heart is aching!

First day...

2009-11-30T22:31:00.002+02:00

Datça

Flashbacks... Morning walk... Happy... Satisfied... Free... Alone... First time... Breeze... Sleeping lover... back to the photography...

spring will come again...

2009-11-30T02:00:00.002+02:00

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.

- Henry David Thoreau

Happy eid - Kurban Bayramınız Kutlu Olsun...

2009-11-27T10:07:00.002+02:00

let's meet in this fairy tale

2009-11-25T01:26:00.003+02:00

and live in it...

Well she's walking through the clouds

With a circus mind that's running wild

Butterflies and zebras

And moonbeams and a fairy tale

That's all she ever thinks about

Riding the wind

When I'm sad she comes to me

With a thousand smiles she gives to me free

It's alright she says, it's alright

Take anything you want from me

Anything

Fly on little wing

beauty in pollution...

2009-11-19T00:35:00.003+02:00

...

Friends, we are traveling together.

Throw off your tiredness. Let me show you

one tiny spot of the beauty that cannot be spoken.

...

a piece of bosphorus

2009-10-19T23:13:00.003+03:00

This is what I see everyday when I take a smoking break at work... A nice refreshment...

Music, dance & friends

2009-09-21T13:12:00.007+03:00

At the beginning of the summer I had a call from my cousin Duygu and she invited me to watch their dance show. I couldn't pass this opportunity, so I joined them before the show and took some photos during the show, not only theirs but all...

It was a show of the dance school of Tan Sağtürk who is a wellknown dancer in Turkey (and europe I think). There are a lot of dance students from all ages (4-60!) and it was really nice to watch them.

I had visitors from Tunisia

2009-08-27T23:17:00.010+03:00

A few weeks ago I had guests from Tunisia. Bukola & Leandro...

Bukola is an old friend from couchsurfing, he fell in love with Istanbul and is a repeat customer now ;)

Leandro is a collegue of Bukola, he is Porteguese which means I liked him at first sight :)

They came to Istanbul because of a wedding party of their collegue's daughter, thanks to her...

I took Bukola to my tango class as always I do to all of my friends... He helped himself when I was sweating with dance and he got a gift from this gorgeus girl, Sırma :) As you can see he is very happy with the gift on his wrist ;)

I am happy to have them around again too... I already miss his witty sense of humour :)))

sunday class

2009-08-17T22:40:00.003+03:00

I recently started to a tango class at Taksim. The name of the course is Tangojean. It means you can dance by jean ;) It is like a therapy, beautiful music, dance... I loved it.

I had a visitor at tango class on sunday. My beautiful niece Hasal came to watch my dance -after 3 lessons!- and she enjoyed to being there with me... Nice... I have some photos of her for you today.

Happy Mondays...

happy birthday Nilu

2009-08-16T00:24:00.004+03:00

Nilüfer & me

Nilüfer & Buket

Nilüfer the birthday girl

Nilüfer

Nilüfer is a good friend from my old work place. Today is her birthday but Buket (another friend from work) and I decided to celebrate it earlier. I invited them to my flat and we made a surprise to Nilüfer. I took some photos of her - she gives good photos- but I wasn't in my best day :( Photos are not good enough...

Happy birthday dear Nilüfer...

rebel...

2009-08-12T21:48:00.005+03:00

The way of love is not

a subtle argument.

The door there

is devastation.

Birds make great sky-circles

of their freedom.

How do they learn that?

They fall, and falling,

they are given wings.

Rumi

freedom is making choises

2009-08-05T23:54:00.002+03:00

and sometimes it means "fly away"...

I am back...

2009-08-05T01:58:00.003+03:00

It's been long time... Lots of things happened, good or challenging. You can change something on your looking easily but it's not as much as easy for your innerself, feelings, toughts, love...

Show must go on, huh???

I love February !

2009-02-28T22:03:00.014+02:00

Hi Dear Friends,

I started to work again as you understand. I have to find out a way to post my blog daily but I am getting very tired when I arrived to home. Maybe it's better fo me (and you of course) to writing the blog weekly but taking the photos daily for a while...

I feel very good this week. I think the reason is the title of the post " I love february". It means that the winter is going officialy. The spring is coming tomorrow :) I am like a nutshell in the freezer at winter time, I don't want to do anything, go to work or home, sleep or not to sleep, read or not to read, eat or don't eat (!), doesn't matter for me... But the changes started now. We have 1 week cold weather more (old people say so). After then you can see flowers all around, people start to smile with any reason, less arguements, any fights and wars (I hope), more and more...

We are talking about politics or economic crisis at work sometimes and my collegues are getting very surprised about my opinions. I don't tell them who is my teacher but you ;) Sam has a website which he writes about his travels, life,spirituality, politics, economy and more... If you take a glimpse at http://www.aliasjones.com/ sometimes, you can see what's going on this crazy world from a different angle.

There is more to write but I want to sleep ;) Here is the photos of the last week... Oh... Btw the second sign of spring (cemre) fell down to the water on friday. Spring baby...

The 52nd day

This beautiful young girl is my niece Hazal. She is very smart too and already decided to study medical faculity after high school. She has 1 more years now. I love her very much.

The 53rd day

Imge is a friend of mine from ferry ride :) we come back to island by same ferry, actually they live on the third island Heybeliada but I enjoy her concerts till Kınalıada. She is 11 years old and studies guitar at the academy of music for 4 years. I am sure we'll watch her performances soon in the public.

The 54th day

Just work stuff....

The 55th day

I am also working on a project named "The cats of Knalıada" or something like that :) I think this photo will be one of them.

The 56th day

It was raining again, took the ferry to home. A girl with white hat was sitting cross to me. The light was coming just behind the girl and the Haydarpaşa train station at the back. I like stolen photos, does it make me a pervert? When a pervert turns out an artist? Or does she / he ?

The 57th day

I went to shopping to Beşiktaş that day and when I saw this photo I stopped suddenly and started to laugh. This man is a candidate for Major of Istanbul and his offers are; He will allow to youtube connection and the taxi drivers will work with the same price in daytime and nights :)

There was an old man looking to the poster, we looked each other, he said "I am curious about what we'll see more". Smiled... But I have to accept that I loved the heart shape thing ;)

The 58th day

Saturday started wonderful. It was shining, you can feel the spring, because cemre fell down to the water on friday. I put the Gato outside, yesss she is still pregnant but getting heavier. I also went out for a walk and 10 minutes later it started to rain ! I did not neither umbrella nor raincoat so my camera started to get wet. Turned back to home as fast as possible and fell down to sleep :) When Sam came to home I saw that the day turned out a wonderful day again... I could only had this shot from that day.

Rumi game is not working since one week or so... I don't know why. If I don't feel something when I put the lines from Rumi Poetry, what is the meaning to try to do it? I'll think about it tonight, if Gato doesn't give birth...

Loves&Games&Meanings...

İlk cemre düştü... / The first sign of spring fell down to the air !

2009-02-21T18:26:00.008+02:00

English is below today...
...

Evet, ilk cemre dün havaya düştü. Baharın ilk müjdecisi, havaların ısınmaya başlamasını gösteren ilk işaret olan cemrenin, birer hafta arayla havaya, suya ve toprağa düştüğü varsayılır. Aslında havaların ısınması tam tersi yönde gerçekleşir. Önce yeryüzü güneşten gelen ışınları soğurarak ısınmaya başlar, ısınan hava genleşerek yükselir. Havadaki soğuk hava aşağıya çökerken sıcak hava ile yolda kaşılaşıp yağmur olarak toprağa düşer. Bu arada dünyanın daha fazla güneş ışığı soğurmasıyla toprak daha da ısınır. Eğer bu açıklama yetmediyse daha fazla bilgiye buradan ulaşabilirsiniz.
Dünkü güzel havadan sonra bu sabah yine rüzgar ve yağmur sesleriyle uyandım ve Deli Kedi Mama Gatoyu hemen aşağıda minderi üzerinde kıvrılmış uyuyor buldum. Karnı sanki biraz küçülmüş gibi geldi ve neler olup bittiğini anlamak için elimi karnına koydum. Hiç bir hareket hissetmiyordum! Ne yapsam, sahibi arkadaşım olan Ortaköy Veteriner Kliniğini mi arasam diye düşünürken bir de reiki vereyim bakalım ne oluyor dedim. Elim Mama Gato'nun karnında kendimi reiki enerjisine açtım. Önce tek bir tekme geldi, 1-2 dakika sonra kıpırdanmalar başladı, 10 dakika sonra ise içeride bir dans partisi var sanabilirdiniz. Bunun yeterli olduğunu düşünerek elimi çektim, bütün bu süre içinde Gato yan yatmış uyuyordu. Ben elimi çekince sırtüstü yatarak haydi devam et, bu yeterli değil mesajı gönderdi :) Bir beş dakika daha reiki verdikten sonra ikimiz de iyice uyanmıştık, o su içmeye ben de yüzümü yıkamaya gittim. Güne güzel bir başlangıçtı yani.

Öğleden sonra Sam eve geldiğinde Esma Teyze'nin ona bir şeyler söylemeye çalıştığını ama anlamadığını söyleyince gidip bir bakayım dedim. Esma Teyze 70 yaşının başlarında, hala oduna baltayı sallayabilen, eğilip ot toplayabilen, sevgiyle sarıp sarmalayan, bazen bunaltıcı olabilen bir eski alevi nenesi. Ben kasımda problemler yaşarken bana kurşun falan dökmüştü hatta. Bana da öğretmesini istediğimde, böyle şeylerin ocaktan (aileden) dışarı çıkmadığını, anadan kıza geçtiğini söyedi bana. Neyse, Esma Teyzenin evine varıp camı tıklattığımda, sobayı yaktığını gelip ısınmamızı söylediğini öğrendim. Sonuç olarak benim hazırladığım salatayı alıp Esma Teyze'ye ısınmaya gittik. O da bize, çorba, kara lahana yemeği, kahvaltı tabağı, erik suyu ve çay ikram etti ;) Biraz önce tekrar gelip sobayı iyice yaktığını tekrar gelmemizi söyledi. Yemekte ne olduğunu sorsam ayıp mı olurdu acaba?

Fırtınalı küçük adamızdan sıcak sevgiler...

We seem to be sitting still,

but we are actually moving,

and the fantasies of phenomena

are sliding through us,

like ideas through curtains.

They go to the well of deep love

inside each of us.

Ok... Yesterday was a very special day because of the first cemre (any of three radiations of heat which supposedly fall in succession from the sun into the air, the water, and the earth in February and March) fell down to the air. It is a sign of that spring is coming soon very soon. Actually it happens completely different way. First land gets warm and heats the air, the hot air rises and meets with cold air. Rains fell down. and this circle keeps going...

I woke up in a windy and rainy day after yesterday's heaven. I saw Crazy Mama Gato when I looked at down and it seemed her belly is smaller now. I put my hand on his belly and there wasn't any movement but a little fever. I worried and started to think what I can do, maybe I can call my friend who is a very good vet and the owner of the Ortaköy Veteriner Kliniği. But first I decided to give reiki healing to her and opened myself to the reiki energy after I put my hand to her belly again. After a few seconds I felt first kick. Several minutes later more movements and after 10 minutes they were having a dance party inside. This is enough so she doesn't need my hand anymore. But when I pulled my hand back, she turned out and opened her belly to me for more :) And her belly is not smaller now. After 5 minutes more reiki we both woke up completely and she went to drink water and I went to bathroom to clean our faces...

When Sam Came to home afternoon he said Mama Esma tried to tell something to him. I wonder what she said because she wasn't on the island for a while, I was wondering if she is ok. I went to her house and tapped the window. She came out with her smiling face. Sam calls Esma as Mama because she is so caring to us. She is at her 70's, can swing the axe, pick the vegetables bent over for a long time, loving, caring (sometimes too much) an old alevi woman. When I had my health problems in november she helped me with her knowledge of kurşun dökmek (to melt lead and pour it into cold water over the head of a sick person in order to break an evil spell) ! I wanted to teach me this spell from her but she ignored me with " This is a family work. Only mothers can give her daughters".

Anyway, I asked what she said to Sam, her reply was " I put the wood into the stove (she has a big iron one). Come to here to get warm."

Finally we took the salad I made and went to Mama Esma to eat and chat. She preperad a table for us with; soup, savoy cabbage, 2-3 different type of cheeses, plum marmalade, plum juice, olive, fried bread and our salad ! She stopped by a few minutes before and invited us for dinner and warm place again. Should I ask what she cooked for dinner? :)

Love to all of you from our little stormy island...

Mama Gato's Inner Journey

2009-02-20T22:38:00.006+02:00

...

The 50th day

My english and turkish posts are different today. Because of I put a link about a group named İçimdeki Yolculuk (Inner Journey) which works on spiritual life in Turkey. I am sure there are lots of groups and schools in your country like this one. They have seminars about to release fear and anger, find the blocks and turn them to opportunities, etc. My friend Murad sent their link to me when I mentioned about my dreams to him. This is interesing enough to search more...

The weather is very nice today. We went to walk around the island, had sunshine, explored new roads. Mama Gato followed us 5-10 minutes after then she left us and still didn't come back. I think she decided to give birth in another house! Love is set them free, huh?

Love&Peace&Freedom

Put your vileness up to a mirror and weep.

Get that self-satisfaction flowing out of you.

Satan tought, I am better than Adam,

and that better than is still strongly in us.

"Bir nehrin akışını izliyordum. O sırada, nehrin üzerine doğru uzanmış ağaçtan bir yaprak düştü. Yaprak bir çalıya sarılıp, bir kayaya takıldı, kendi etrafında hızla dönmeye başladı. Bir girdap içinde olduğu yerde dönüp duruyordu. Arkadan nehrin akış ritmi ile kendi yolunda tutunmadan gelen bir küçük dal ona dokundu. Yaprağın da bu akış içinde, kendi yolunda, kendi hızında keyifle akmasını sağladı."
"Bu kitaplar olduğu yere takılmış akamayan bütün yapraklara dokunuş olacak.
Yolunuz açık olsun..."

Bu alıntı 1-2 gün önce rüyalarımla ilgili mesajlaştığım bir arkadaşımın "Bu siteyi incelemeni tavsiye ederim" demesiyle bana ulaştı. Yani bir başka dal, ağaçtan düşmüş yolunu arayan bir yaprağa dokundu. Teşekkürler Murad...

İçimdeki yolculuk adlı web sitesinin giriş sayfasında yer alan bu sözler nedense beni çok ekiledi. Belki her şeye açık, duygusal bir anımda olduğum için, belki de bana dokunması, beni bir yerlere yöneltmesi için... İçimdeki yolculuk, kurucusu Nil Avunduk'un yaşantımızdaki tıkanıklıkları nasıl değiştirip dönüştürebileceğimizi, affetmeyi, korku ve öfkeden kurtulmayı gerçekleştirerek nasıl daha olumlu bir hayat yaşayabileceğimizi anlatan seminerlerden ve kitaplardan oluşyor. Ben ilk fırsatta gitmeye çalışacağım, size de tavsiye ederim. Daha fazla bilgiyi burada bulabilirsiniz.

Yukarıdaki fotoğraf bugünkü ada yürüyüşümüzden. Hava o kadar güzeldi ki içeride kalamadık ve kendimizi patikalara vurduk. Mama Gato bizi bir süre takip edip sonra vazgeçti, hala da eve gelmedi. Sanırım başka bir evde doğurmaya karar verdi ! Sevmek özgür bırakmak demek değil mi zaten ;)

Sevgiyle kalın...

What is she waiting for?

2009-02-19T21:11:00.007+02:00

The 49th day

(English is below)

Mama Gato bütün gün yiyiyor, içiyor ve uyuyor. Ne için bekliyor bu kız? Doğuracak mı, yoksa bebekler bu sıcak ve güvenli yerden çıkmamaya mı karar verdiler. Sanırım Gato ve ben farklı açılardan aynı prosesi yaşıyoruz şu sıralar... O doğuracak... Ben... Ben büyük bir değişikliğin yaklaştığını hissediyorum. Tayinim ile ilgili değil, bundan daha büyük, daha kişisel, spiritüel bir değişim. Geçtiğimiz iki hafta çok ilginç rüyalar gördüm, sanırım bir şekilde bu rüyalar da süreçte etkili olacak. Kafanız mı karıştı? İnanın benimki sizden daha karışık ama kulaklarımın arasında biryerlerde birşeyler oluyor ;) Göreceğiz bakalım.
Ama şimdilik görebileceğiniz tek şey Mama Gato'nun koca göbeği. Bu fotoğrafta mywall bebek odası duvar kağıtlarının imajlarını kullandım, inşallah kızmazlar...

She is eating, drinking water and sleeping all day... What is she waiting for? Will she give birth? Maybe the kittens decided to stay this warm and safety place forever. I think Gato and me are living same process by different ways now. She will give birth. me? I feel a big change is coming and it is not about my transfer, more than this. Something about my life path, something spiritual. I had interesting dreams last 2 weeks and I feel they will help me in this transition time. Something's going on between my ears ;) We'll see...

But for now you can only see the huge belly of Mama Gato ;) In this image I used the mywall baby room wall paper images. You can see their beautiful works here.

...

when a lost hand reaches

to touch the rescuing hand,

when a candle next to a mirrored

sconce gets lit,

your presence enters my soul.

Cat's life - 2

2009-02-18T22:31:00.009+02:00

Keep walking, though there's no place to get to.

Don't try to see through the distances.

That's no for human beings. Move within,

but don't move the way fear makes you move.

The 48th day
(Turkish version is below)

I think I told you before Mama Gato will give birth again. It is 70% chances tonight, 80% chances tomorrow, 90 and more next day... She doesn't know what she will do, me neither. She says meoww I give water, she says meeeeoooww I give food, but someties she is just looking to my eyes and saying a short mew !! What does it mean? If someone knows please tell me too... I went to down to the island to find a good box for her and kittens. Mission completed but she doesn't want to go inside it. Maybe it is not the correct time yet.

I took a few photos on my way today. We had very nice days (remembering spring) last week and last 2 days are wonderful too. So I am not surprised when I saw the flowers on the trees but this is not good for them. Early opened flowers don't live long...

Sanırım daha önce de söyledim ama tekrarlamak lazım arasıra Mama Gato ha bugün ha yarın doğuracak. Büyük ihtimalle bu gece bekliyoruz. Ne kadar zor bir şey dilini anlamadığın bir canlının derdine ortak olmak. Hayvancağız meoow diyor su veriyorum, meeeoooww diyor mama, ama bazen öyle bir bakışı var ki gözlerimin içine, bir de kısacık mew diyor ne yapacağımı bilemiyorum. Bir bilen varsa söylesin ne olur. Ona ve yavrularına bir kutu bulmak ve küçük çaplı bir alışveriş için (3 paket ruffles anlamına geliyor bu :) adanın merkezine indim. Yolda da bir kaç kedi, kuş, sandal falan çektim tabi haliyle... Bazı erik ağaçları çiçek açmışlar ama gördüğünüz gibi çiçekler buruşmuş. Geçen hafta bir kaç gün bahar havası yaşadık ya ona kanmış zavallılar, arkasından donu yeyince böyle oldu işte... Bir çiçekle bahar olmaz diyenlere bir adet de papatya fotoğrafı koydum, çimlere basmayın tabelası henüz yerine yerleştirilmediğine göre her şey serbest !

Mevlana'nın yukarıdaki şiirini Türkçeye çevirmeye çalışacağım:

Yürümeye devam et, gidecek yer kalmayıncaya kadar.

Uzakları görmeye çalışma.

Bu insanlar için değil. Sadece yap,

ama korku seni yönettiği için değil.

Punctum...

2009-02-17T20:08:00.010+02:00

...

The 47th day

They both slept all day long as you see. And he is telling me that Gato is my cat ! Can you believe that?
They are very cute together and I am sure they will be very happy without me too :)

I am following a few blogs here and I saw this photo at one of them. The photo is from The International Word Press Winners and really touched me. It shows detective Robert Kole must ensure residents have moved out of their home in Cleveland, Ohio ! His posture is looking like he is waiting an attack from a serial killer or
one or more terrorists, but they are just people who live in their properties till soon. And maybe they had to move because of they couldn't pay 1-2 month of their mortgage. One of my very best friends lives in US and just bought a house with mortgage. I am really worrying about her after saw this photo...

If you went to the World Press page, I recommend you to check the other photos out too. There are a few very strong photos which Roland Barthes calls "this photo has punctum" in Camera Lucida. In my opinion Roland Barthes is a difficult writer. It takes long time to read and understand him to me :) But I liked his approach to photography in this book... If you like photography this is a bedside book with Susan Sontag's On Photography I think...

And the Rumi lines of the day:

He said , You are not mad enough.

You don't belong in this house.

I went wild and had to be tied up.

He said, Still not wild enough to stay with us

Now I am a fool, what about you?

Friends...

2009-02-16T22:09:00.013+02:00

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The 46th day

The weather is freakin cold, I think it will snow tomorrow but the sky is very clear with white clouds. I took the 14.00 ferry to go to home. When I opened the door I looked for a seat next to the heater. I saw one and went there, a guy with a nice hat was sitting opposite of me. We greeted each other and I checked the heater as always. He smiled and told me that it's working, and we started to talk about the weather, island living, Istanbul, our jobs. When the topic came to jobs he told that he is an actor on a TV show, I felt embarassed because I don't know him. Actually I don't have a TV at home, I don't like it and told him this too. He said he is not a famous actor. So... Today's photo belongs to Kadir Bey, thanks for the chat...

Please, universal soul, practice
some song, or something, through me.

The 45th day

I went to meet with my girlfirends today. We couldn't meet for a long time and I was thinking we have lots of things to talk about. But when we met at Seyhan's house, we had dinner, chatted a little bit an started to make a puzzle !! yes, a puzzle. We are (or were?) 4 girls and 1 boy friend from Istanbul University (1998) and have stayed close since then. We went to different cities to live sometimes but we always had strong ties. This year the situation changed a lot. We have big changes in our lives and became self-centered I think. I missed my old days with my friends. Today's photo is Nesrin's legs! We had a lot of laughs with Seyhan. Actually she has very nice legs as you can see but... I took 2 photos, so you can see why it was so funny...

She had nice black shoes and red coat but she was freezing when arrived to house and changed her shoes first, so we had a little fun with her ;)

Who knows what is best for a sandgrin
or a drop of water, who opens

and closes our ability to love

Keep your friends warm :)

Love Story

2009-02-14T18:35:00.003+02:00

My First Love Story

The minute I heard my first love story

I started looking for you,

not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They are in each other all along.

Love, childhood and others

2009-02-13T21:15:00.016+02:00

......

The 44th day

He is young again. And don't mention

the past. Do you understand?

The beloved is here.

Rain, wind, cat, love, internet... who am I to want more from the universe? :) As you can understand I couldn't go to outside to take photos. I am listening the music and wind and wandering if the roof will fly or not :) It's playing right now:

one love

one heart

let's get together and feel allright

The 43rd day

An empty mirror and your worst destructive habits

when they are held upto each other, that is when the real making begins.

That's what art and crafting are.

Travel bug bite me again but I am only scratching. I love this chocolate box with the hotel logos on it from all over the world and my passport. It is the money box for my passport and foreign currencies and saved money for travels by me. Sometimes I take them out and staring, this doesn't show that I am a mad girl, or it does?

The 42nd day

Husam, tell about the visions of Daquqi,

who said, I have traveled east and west
not knowing which way I was going,

following the moon, lost inside God.

This is the Kabataş ferry dock where I use to go to west or come from east ! Actually what is the east and west? Who decided which one is it? And if you are in India Istanbul is west. If you are in Greece it is east. Really? Is it only a line to divide us east-west, north-south? I am against all the borders, all the prejudices, all the politics and time ;)

The 40th day

A human being is essentially

a spirit-eye.

Whatever you really see,

you are that.

Hello Dear Friends,

Ok, maybe the quality of the photo is not good for you but I took this shot from bus and it was a rainy day, and I love this photo. This is Koumquat Coffee at Ortakoy area. There was an old house with a small garden there more than 30 years ago. You have been felt to fall down on the street when you sit on the closed balcony(cumba). I lived in this house more than 7 years, then my father bought a new house in Ortaköy and we moved to this more modern (!) apartment. If they were asked to me about moving thing I would say "NO" but they didn't. To be child in Ortaköy was amazing. We were going to seaside almost everyday. There was a bike renter, my elder sister Bahar was renting bike from him. I was renting 4 wheel bike(yesss, I know what you are telling). Now, I look at this ugly building when I am passing through every time and crying for old days... This is too much :) of course I am not crying but I am missing old days, is this a sign of getting old?

The 41st day

I have brought you a mirror.

Look at youself and remember me.

This is the worse part of the 365 project, you have to take everyday a photo even you don't feel in a mood for photography or the weather cloudy, dark and wet. But I have to keep doing... This photo is one of them. The light wasn't good, it was raining, i wasn't feel all right. But when I played the Rumi game with this photo it made sense a little bit. Photos or days like this one are mirrors for me which the universe sent. If I see dark side at the mirror how can I wait good things from the universe? So... shine baby shine ...

Cat's life

2009-02-08T13:58:00.008+02:00

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The day 39th

I am telling you, it's easy life... If you are cute enough and can meoowww at the right tone at the right time, you can get whatever you want. I will come as a cat next time ;)

Soul, if you want to learn secrets,

Your heart must forget about shame

and dignity

You are God's lover,

yet you worry what people are saying.

Rumi's words always touch to the right point at the right time inside me. This is my life, my choises, my point of view and I can do whatever I want with them... I call anyone a friend who extends my life in a good way with his/her constractive critisizm. Life is too short to make it complicated...

I woke up with storm today and at some point I worried about the roof will fly to the sea !! I fed Gato and she did not come back. hmmmmm, she has something to do recently, I don't know if it's time for cats. After she knocked the door on, yes she does it. She came inside like an alien is following her, shaked her body and went her corner. Cat's life; eat, have sex, sleep, stretched out and again... easy lovely easy lovely easy lovely....

She saw her boyfriend and run to the window to look at him. I opened the door and let her go out but she wanted to stay inside. We all have choises even the cats... Comfort, easy life, fears are effect our decisions, so you must be brave to risk everything and change your life. Doesn't matter small or big changes...

Beacuse the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas...

Have a nice sunday as much as mine ;)

Is it already spring?

2009-02-07T20:28:00.014+02:00

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The 34 th day

As the writer's becomes a friend,

as the tool the workman uses day after day
becomes deeply familiar, so her filigreed throne
was her one attachment.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.

-Anais Nin

I want to introduce you my best friend at work, Rukiye. We are friends since 1993 and she is 15 years older than me, it means that she was my age when we met first. We've been talking about anything, from love to the endless space. I am sure you know what I mean.

The 35th day

I used to want buyers for my words.

Now I wish someone would by me away from words

We had a walk after work with Rukiye today. The weather was pretty good, there were a lot of fisherman at the sea side. We walked and talked about work and life. It would be great if we could get the best in every part of life ;)

The 36th day

When a man makes up a story for his child,

he becomes a father and a child

together, listening.

We took the first ferry with Sam today. He is going to Greece to renew his visa.We had the position to take a nap :) But after I took this photo we realized that we are not sleeping. I started to take a nap on the ferry last 1-2 months, I don't like it but I think my body needs.

The 37th day

Don't ask what love can make or do

Look at the colors of the world.

The riverwater moving in all rivers at once.

I took this photo from bus. The traffic was awful around Bebek, like " adım adım" (step by step). I had this wonderful sunset. Colors were amazing, I wish I could be able to draw this sunset. Bebek is also a harbour for small and medium size boats. This is a gulet which named "Leaf in Love", nice one.

The 38th day

Close these eyes to open the other
Let the center brighten your sight.

I don't know why it rains at the weekends. Doesn't she (!) know that I am looking forward the weekends to walk, take photos, get warmth with sun! Also we had a photography meeting for this sunday but they cancelled because of the weather.

Anyway, There are nice things too... For example small rain drops on a pink rose...

I hope you had a nice saturday as much as mine ;) and I am sure tomorrow will be better...

Love & Peace & Pink rose fairy

more than 1 week :(

2009-02-02T20:50:00.017+02:00

...

Hello My Dear Friends :)

Ok.. It's more than 1 week but I am keep taking photographs for everyday, So here are the photo of the days ....

The 26th day

Gamble everything for love,

If you are a true human being.

If not, leave this gathering

I tried to catch this amazing sunset at Ortaköy but I couldn't...Days are getting longer now... Do you know what does it mean? SPRING !!! :) Yes, it's coming... and after then summer will come which I missed a lot. The "summer time" is on my head recently.. I want to escape from the city to small places where the sun always shine... I think I need a motorbike for it, but first a helmet. or... a licence for motorbike !!! or... maybe I should learn how to ride a bike first...

The 27th day

The heart is a wheatgrain. We are the mill
where this body is a millstone
and thought, the moving river.

This charming young girl (13th years old) is the daughter of a collegue. She has been living in another city with her grandparents and visiting her mother at the holidays because it's very difficult to raise a child in İstanbul. It's at the 21st rank at the most crowded cities in the world list with official number (9.000.000). But everybody knows that Istanbul's population is around 15.000.000 and this number makes the rank at the top ten cities ! Istanbul is also a very expensive city (at the 29th rank at the same source). There different kind of peeople like everywhere, you can not trust everybody. People need money to live and there are hundreds of way to make money in a big city and some of them are not very good. As you can see it's not easy to raise children here. If you ask me, I think I couldn't do away from my child but life has surprises for all of us and we say in turkish " don't talk big" ;)

The 28th day

ok.. it's again a title of a poem :

The source of joy

Lovely Gato, she's so beautiful isn't she? I had some work to do at the head office of Istanbul on wednesday and I finished it till noon. It's very nice to being at home in weekdays earlier, especially if it is a sunny day like this one. Sam played with Gato a little bit, then she got bored again :) She has some concencration problems. She can only focusing a few minutes on something but except food and sleeping... Easy life... I want to be a cat in my next life

The 29th day

What can you do in a cloudy rainy day like this?

Night Prayer

Now I lay me down

to stay awake.

Pray the Lord my soul to take

into your wakefulness,

so that I can get this one bit

of wisdom clear.

Grace comes to forgive

and then forgive again.

The 30th day

Who makes these changes?

I shoot an arrow right.

It lands left.

I ride after a deer

and find myself chased by a hog.

I plot to get what I want

and end up in prison

I dig pits to trap others
and fall in

I should be suspicious

of what I want.

This is incredible, I am still keep doing this even these dark days... This photo has taken when I was going to work on friday. I am sure there are thousands worse fridays but this was mine for this week and it didn't serve me to feel all right....

The 31st day

Forms move from inorganic to vegetation
to selves endowed with spirit
through the urgency of every love
that wants to come to perfection.

Thinking abouth chilly and burgundy and black ... The life is so simple. But we do it complicated sometimes. It is always same, what we play, it is life. You'll get the bonus if you play well... Don't forget this:

There is no "game over" in this game ;) or.. maybe there is, who knows...

The 32nd day

We started to the shortest month of the year. Summer is on the door baby ;) In these thoughts I wanted to take a walk around our small green island but it was freezing so I went to the top of the hill and took a few photo but they were not good. I loved this one as the sunday photo because it reminded me the old times in Istanbul. We had been playing games on the street with friends untill late evening. Actually our mothers were calling us just before our fathers' arrival time. We did not have a lot of homework to do and we were neither in a bloody competition for being first or second in the class, nor to pass the examination for private schools.

There were only a few private school and I knew that I cannot go to them. So why should I mess my holidays??? But now, the parents want their children to make their dreams true and driving them like a horse. Maybe I am so harsh but in my opinion, a child should live her/his childhood, otherwise they won't know how to love, how to enjoy the life, how to laugh and the money will be their god. or did it happen already?

The 33rd day

When I played Rumi game for this photo, I opened an empty page !

I loved this old lady with her fragile oldness. Her feet cannot touch on the ground, she is not very comfortable on the bench but she has come to this park to enjoy winter sun. Actually we have a lot of sunny days in this winter, it didn't snow very well. I don't know what shall we do in this summer for water... Maybe I should learn a water dance or a song !

Love to you all...

Weekend, wooo-hoooo...

2009-01-25T11:53:00.005+02:00

...

Hello everybody,

The weather is extremely unstable this weekend, it rains hard for a few hours then the sun shows his face. I think the emotional changes mostly depend on the weather or whatever...

Yesterday started with sun and ended with rain. We had the perfect timing to go to shoot some photo for Sam's published poem ! Yessss, he is a published poet now. You can read his beautiful feelings about love here... and the 24th day's photograph is here.

They go to the deep love

inside each of us.

I slept very well last night except for the strange dreams, I wanted to be able to write these dreams quickly. In the dream from the night before I saw an afro-american young girl without hair wearing a yellow jacket, she was very important somehow. I think she saved someones's life. After then I kissed Jack Nicholson ! :) I didn't use tong ;) He is the old one and when I kissed his cheek he rolled his eyes and said "Ah! old beautiful days"... And last night I saw a horse cart without a horse running toward me and I was carrying a baby. I tried to turn her head away when I saw the driver of the cart was laying down on the road, dead... Those are the most flashy ones. I had tens or maybe hundreds of them recently ...

So...

When I woke up, it was raining, Gato was crying for food. I didn't feel in the mood to go shopping and knocked on the next door for bread ! I hear you "lazy girl lazy girl lazy girl"... The 25th day's photo is a detail from the next door's wall.

I have lived on the lip

of insanity, wanting to know reasons,

knocking on a door. It opens.

I've been knocking from the inside.

I am a little cloudy today, please you enjoy your day...
Love & grey days (they are also necessary to being grateful for our lives)

days after days :)

2009-01-23T14:16:00.010+02:00

...

It's been a long time again... But I admitted many times here and in some conversations with friends that "I am lazy". Really LAZY !!! I didn't feel good enough to go to work this week and took 4 days off from tuesday. I've been at home since then without doing anything. The weather has been beautiful the last 3 days and I watched the life from the window again, except yesterday.

Yesterday I woke up and hopped to the house work as if a mosquito bit me ;) The living room is very clean and tidy (it needs a little more) now.

Project 365 is still alive, don't worry. I'll go back day by day again with photos...

Today is the 23rd day and it's raining, the storm almost hit the island, the wind is strong... You got it, I have many excuses to not to go outside to take a photo, so it's from the window again...

One of the marvels of the world
is the sight of a soul sitting in prison
with the key in its hand.

The 22nd day was my cleaning day, I don't want to bother you with my mop and sweep things. So this photo is from the back patio in the morning. There was a seagul on the roof of the house in front of us, actually they were a couple, Sam said they live close to our hippie pad and come for early morning exercises everyday :)

Lovers keep moving, never the same,
not for a second.

The 21st day I was toooo busy to even go to window to take a photo, so I took that photo from my couch! Sam is having fun with Gato but she easily got bored from that game, you'll see this photo at the end of the post.

Evolutionary Intelligence

The 20th day I went to work but I felt that I couldn't stay there all day long and I took 4 days off to stay at home for a while. I went to the ferry dock earlier and decided to wait outside because the weather was wonderful, the sun was heating my bones ;) I saw an old lady on a bench near the cafe and asked If I can sit next to her, then we started to chatting. She was knitting a beautiful blue-ish tie-ish thingy :) Her story was interesting enough and I am sure she won't be angry with me if I write about it here.

Human beings, you have a great value
inside your form, a seed. Be led
by the rose inside the rose

She's been living in Heybeliada (the third of the Princess islands) selling handcrafts she made and tailoring. She just had an operation on her eyes but she is still knitting and told me that "I am still working hard because I have to earn my own money. I don't trust anyone, they don't want me to be good". I didn't ask who they are or what happened with her children, I am sure if I asked the conversation would have never ended... She got married when she was 18 and lost her husband 16 years later, raised her 2 children alone. Her eyes were wet while she was talking about when her father took her to watch the ceremony for the first woman pilot Sabiha Gökçen when she was 4 years old. she saw Atatürk there and as she told me "this was so precious like jewelry".
Maybe 20 minutes later we got on the ferry, she came to my seat and gave her phone numbers and asked if I can help her to find new customers for handcrafts. I promised her that I'll talk to my friends at work, she was happy and she wanted to give me the blue tie as a gift. I didn't want to take it free but would rather buy it. When she asked why I want to pay, I said that she spent effort (with opareted eyes), her imagination, her time, her money so I have to pay for this. Finally she made a %50 discount for me and we had a deal ;) If you want to stop by her shop when you visit Heybeliada the address is: Şaziment Dikimevi , karakolun karşısı... easy... Thank you Şaziment Teyze, you shined my day...

The 19th day photo is from Beşiktaş again... I don't know if the birds (as you see in this photo) were doing this ceremony before or I just started to pay attention but this " bird dance" is fascinating for me. Maybe a hundred of them live in the same tree (a special one I think) and they start to their dance all together... They have some rituals like making the infinity sign, then separate and turn and come together again. I stop and watch this amazing dance when or wherever I am.

Do you ask the moon to rise

and give its light?

This show reminded me of the book " Talisman " by Stephen King& Peter StrauB. I was 15 years old when I first read it and I finished the book within 24 hours without sleeping ! It touched me somehow I cannot explain but if you read the book I am sure you'll understand ... There was a part that the main character (esas oğlan in turkish ;)) Jack passed to the other dimension and saw the big birds flying far away. When he came close he saw that they were not birds but men with wings ! he stops, sits and watchs them till the end of their flying dance show. At the end he realized that fliying dance is very painful for the bird-men but they continue to do and maybe the most fascinating part is, this is not a show but an practise for maybe 30 minutes of the show! Jack asks to himself "what kind of person can be happy in such a pain" and he answers himself "It doesn't matter how much pain they have. they enjoy it, they live a mysterious life and the only thing that helps them to live is JOY"...

This was first time I read a book with two authors so I went to the bookstore and bought one of each of their books to see which one impressed me so much. Since then I became a fan of Stephen King and I stronly recommend his "Dark Tower" series for those who love the fantasy-reality (?) books.

And... at the end... Ladies and Gentelmen, the worldwide photographer Belgin Zeytin in her pijamas :) This is the 18th day photo I think... Lazy lazy lazy...

I think she found a more interesting thing to play ;)

My new blu-ish tie-is thingy, made in Şaziment Dikimevi, Heybeliada :)

I want to say good bye with Jack's words today :

"Go then, there are other worlds than these." (Gunslinger, Stephen King)

I love saturdays :)

2009-01-17T18:14:00.008+02:00

Hello my friends,

It's weekend again and I am very happy... I did not go out today so the photo of the 17th day also taken from the house window :) Here it is,

We are three....

One of us kneels to kiss the threshold-dust.
One drinks with wine-flames playing over his face
One watches the gathering
and says to any cold onlookers,

This dance is the joy of existence.

I had another beautiful sunrise yesterday, actually all the sunrises are mostly very nice at the island also the full moons on the sea ! The 16th day photo is from yesterday's morning, beautiful sunrise...

I would love to kiss you.
The price of the kissing is your life.

Now my loving is running toward my life shouting,
What a bargain, let's buy it.

I tried to figure out why my photos are not very clear (sharp) on thursday when I was at work. I took lots of photos of my collegues and some of them are very good I think... I made one photo from 3 of them and my 15th day photo is here

If you have a body, where is the spirit?
If you are spirit, what is the body?

I chatted about the cats and dogs with a lady from island at the dock a few days ago. And when I was walkin to home on thursday a car stop near me, that lady was at the car and she and her husband took me to the house, it was very nice but a little smelly because the car was the garbage car of the island :)

Have a nice saturday...

Love&peace&madness ;)

Belgin

If you didn't get bored from dawns...

2009-01-14T22:41:00.002+02:00

This is day 14 photo...

There is a small green island

where one white cow lives alone, a meadow of an island

I leave home at 6.25 a.m everyday and it's still dark but the sun sends his messenger around 7. It was another beautiful sunrise today i think ! I cannot know exactly because I slept after I took this photo ;)

days 11, 12 and 13 :)

2009-01-13T22:54:00.008+02:00

Hello everybody...

I am a little bit late again but to be late is better than nothing ;) We went to Özlem&Hans' house on sunday. Hans is a friend of Sam and I met with them when they invited us to their xmas party. They are a very nice couple with good friends. Day 11 photo taken on the way from ferry to Beşiktaş. This is the "door of the Sultan" of Dolmabahçe Palace. Soldiers guard this door 24 hours, it's a symbol because of Atatürk has died in this palace in 1938.

The sun rises,

but which way does the night go?

And... This is the day 12 photo.

The White Goddess*

Sevda is working at the night shift in the hospital because of she is a student. She is beautiful, isn't she? I took this photo on monday morning after her 24 hours shift ! * When I played the Rumi game for this photo, I did not open a poem page but the writer's page which is talking about Amergin's Song. and my finger was on the word that you see as title !!!

And day 13 photo...

There is a strange frenzy in my head

of birds flying

each particle circulating on its own

Is the one I love everywhere?

I went to Taksim to spend my cloth money today. Government give us cloth money everyyear to buy new work uniform but they don't know the prices i think. The money is 19 Tl (9 €) for 2008 :) I bought a teapot and paid 1 tl more...

This man was selling the bubble guns on the street. The bubbles had amazing colors but I couldn't focus on them so they seen blur :( Finally I decided to make it b&w, it's better...

To be continue ;)

Love & peace & selling only bubble guns

day 10

2009-01-10T22:10:00.004+02:00

I love weekends very much because I can sleep as much as I can :) I woke up at 11 a.m today and had a walk to down to meet with Sam. We went to our landlord's house to celebrate the end of their fasting. His wife Kiraz cooked rice and ashure.

The photo of the 10th day taken on the way to down close to home. I saw 2 puppies on friday when I was coming to home from work. But it turned out they are 5 with 2 mothers !!!

There is a basket of fresh bread on your head,

yet you go door to door asking for crusts.

a few photos from our visit to Mustafa Bey's house today...

Ashure, rice and coca-cola

Mustafa Bey's wife Kiraz and her parents

Small marina of Kınalıada

Alias Jones with new haircut :)

Have a nice saturday...

days 8 and 9 of 365

2009-01-09T21:41:00.004+02:00

It seems that this will be hard to upload photos and writing blog post in weekdays. I work till 5 pm and take 6.30 ferry every week day. I am at home around 8 pm if I go directly to the island. I go to bed around 11 pm, so I have only 3 hours to spend at home :(

I know, I wrote before that I got an extra 2 hours from job but it turned out that my chief did not want to do it actually and made something after me, so I received an warning from the administration... Life is unfair...

When I looked at the news about Gazze, I am ashamed for my silly toughts about my life and my problems, they are looking like blessings then... I want to do something but there is nothing to do which I can except to send my peace wishes to them...

Ok... The first one is the 8th day photo of 365, I took this photo when I was going to work. I was late that's why I could see the sunrise.

We have come again to that knee of seacost

no ocean can reach.

This second photo is from work today. I am really happy to introduce you one of my collegue, Sıdıka. She is a multi-talented, beautiful, young girl looking for a good man to marry with ;)

...

She is full of strength and energy, but she panics
in the dark as before and grows abnormally thin overnight.

... don't make yourself miserable
with what's to come, or not to come.

!!!... I am telling you this Rumi play always works :)

This is all for today...

Love to all of you

Belgin

day 6 and 7th of 365

2009-01-07T23:18:00.005+02:00

Ok... don't think that I am a lazy girl to upload the photo of the day yesterday. I was very busy yesterday and arrived to home just before the midnight so you'll get the photos of 6 & 7th days both today.

First photo is from yesterday. I went to the monthly meeting of NMRT (national medical rescue team) Istanbul. The speaker was one of the members of NMRT and talked about how do the NMRTs work around the world. It was quite interesting and he was a good speaker. At the coffee break I gave my passport number to the officer to put my name on the list of emergency calling for abroad. There are some options nowadays as you know :(

...

You are the soul.

Be that, and when you hear yourself

in some hypocrisy,

cut free. Quickly, cut.

....

The second photo is today's. I usually stop at Besiktas for shopping when I was going to home. I did not do shopping today but played lottery :) Wish me luck please... This eagle statue is a sign of the one of the biggest football club of Turkey, BJK (Beşiktaş Jimnastic Club).

Do you think that I know what I'm doing?

That for one breath or half-breath I belong to myself?

As much as a pen knows what it's writing,

or the ball can guess where it's going next.

Peace for innocent people (or all people) all around the world ...

5th day - someone had a hair cut :)

2009-01-05T23:38:00.005+02:00

Sam came to Istanbul to meet me today and we went to a coiffeur (hair dresser!) for his hair cut. I'd done it for him 6 months ago last time and I cannot tell that it was the best hair cut of him ;) He is looking really good now.

So the photo of the 5th day is here...

Peace for everyone...

.....

So the frowning teacher came and left.

He is very consistent with that vinegar face.

But maybe he shows that to us and smiles with others.

Such a beautiful teacher but so sour.

He is a pure standart for tartness

......

;)

4th day

2009-01-04T15:48:00.004+02:00

We have a guest at the hippie pad today. Loren, he is a couchsurfer from Sweden, intersting person. And the telephone guy of the island stopped by and showed his last poem to us. It's about future, love, education, children, parents and teachers... I'll try to translate it for Sam's website, also I'll put it here too...

So here is the 4th day photo and poem of 365: Loren of Sweden

.......

Yet somehow comes emptiness,

this existence goes.

Praise to that happening over and over.

.......

3rd day

2009-01-03T15:57:00.005+02:00

.....

I absorbe the shining and now I see the ocean,

billions of simultaneous motions moving in me.
......

Today we are celebrating the birthday of very special friend. She is very special, talented, beautiful girl. Ladies & gentelmen here is Mireia Juarez Noriega , my witch friend. Sam introduced her to me via e-mail and we met in Lisbon during my Portugal trip last year. After then she hosted me in Madrid and did everything to make me feel at home... Thank you girl and happy birthday...

When I played the Rumi game to find today's poem I found this (on the photo), the title is " I have such a teacher" ! ;)

Peace & Love & Roses for the mexican witch...

Second day of 365

2009-01-02T23:12:00.006+02:00

This is Lara, Handan&Kubilay's daughter and she is just a few hours old. Last week Handan called me and wanted me to take her birth phots on next monday but Lara chose when she will come and they had to go to hospital this morning. She was in the baby room when I arrived to the hospital, I took some pictures but they are not very good because of the light.

Anyway...

Lara welcomed to our crazy world, I wish all the best things for her...

.......

Handan ve Kubilayın henüz bir kaç saatlik olan kızları Lara ile tanışın lütfen. Handan geçen hafta beni arayarak doğumunu fotoğraflayabilir miyim diye sordu, beklenen tarih önümüzdeki pazartesiydi ama Lara kimseyi dinlemedi ve bugün gelmeye karar verdi, durdurabilene aşkolsun :) Ben hastaneye vardığımda kendisi pembelerini giymiş, babasının gönlünü fethetmekle meşguldü. Fotoğraf çekimi çok da iyi olmadı, çünkü ışık çok iyi değildi odada.

Sonuç olarak...

Çılgın dünyamıza hoşgeldin Lara, senin için her şeyin en güzelini en iyisini diliyorum...

First day of 365

2009-01-01T23:16:00.008+02:00

I am starting a new project today called "365". I heard about it several times on websites about photography but I did not have enough courage to do it. I am a little lazy but I'll do my best this time and try to finish this project.

in 365 project; you take a photo everyday and post it, I'll do it with Rumi game everyday ! in Rumi game, you take the "a year with Rumi" book, close your eyes and open a page. Put your finger on the page and read the line :) As you can see today's photo, it's somehow connected with the question you asked or the photo title, this is always amazed me. I think this will be nice...

Enjoy the day 1 photo below.
Loves

Happy New Year - İyi Seneler

2009-01-01T11:43:00.012+02:00

I wish for you, your loved ones and all humanity PEACE & LOVE & HEALTH & HAPPINESS & MONEY and whatever you want for 2009...

We decided to not to go out for new year eve and entered 2009 at home doing meditation. Mediation interrupted by Gatto when she tried to climb the curtains but it turned to an opprtunity to watch the fireworks alittle bit. After then we turned to the living room and kept doing meditation. I sent all my love to my loved connections and people who needs love & light in their lives.

Texan boy cooked texmex for dinner (don't tell mum), I have to tell that it was delicious :) here is the pic of us but it's difficult to see the dishes so you'll do it with our smiling faces while we were doing chin chin for you ;)

Last week we had a tree at home ! I wanted to decorate a xmas tree first time. Sam found a nice piece of pine tree near the road (tree is still alive I cannot kill a tree just for fun) and we decorated it with silly hippie things like earrings, necklaces, hairgrips etc. Actually it was very pretty and Gato loved it too and tried to eat the leaves :)

I cooked xmas dinner and it was looking good and I think it was delicious too. You can see the photos of xmas tree and dinner below...

So...

Everything is cool on the island. Sun is shinning, we'll go for a walk around the island today. Beautiful day!

I'll say goodbye to you for now with Rumi...

The Mystery of the Moment

To the mind there is such a thing as news,
whereas to the inner knowing, it is all
in the middle of its happening.

To doubters, this is a pain.
To believeres, it's gospel.
To the lover and the visionary,
it is the life as it's being lived.

.......................

Size, sevdiklerinize ve tüm insanlığa barış, sevgi, sağlık, mutluluk ve para dolu bir 2009 diliyorum. İstediğiniz her şeye fazlasıyla kavuşmanız dileğiyle, İyi Seneler...

Bu sene kimi aradıysam yeni yılını kutlamak için evde geçireceğini gördüm. Biz de aynısını yaptık ve yeni yıla meditasyon yaparak girdik. Gerçi meditasyonumuz saat tam 12'de yeni yıla girerken Gato'nun perdeye tırmanma çabasıyla kesintiye uğradı ama bu da havai fişek gösterilerini biraz seyretmemiz için vesile oldu. Sonra salona dönüp meditasyona devam ettik.

Yılbaşı yemeğini Teksaslı kovboy pişirdi (anneme söylemeyin). Şimdi söylemezsem ayıp ederim ama Meksika usulü biftek oldukça lezzetliydi. Yukarıdaki fotoğrafta yemek masamızı da kareye dahil etmeye çalıştım ama kamerayı iyi ayarlayamamışım. Siz de bizi gülümseyen yüzlerimizle şerefinize kadeh kaldırırken seyrederek idare edeceksiniz.

Geçen hafta evde bir ağaç vardı :) Evde bir amerikalı var diyerek
ilk defa Noel ağacı süslemek istedim, meğer Sam'in hiç de öyle takıntıları yokmuş ama benim için yol kenarından bir çam dalı kesti. Kurumaya yüz tutmuş, biçimsiz bir daldı, yani merak etmeyin ağaç hala yaşıyor, sırf 1-2 günlük keyif için ağaçların kesilmesine karşıyım ben...

Ağacımızı küpe, kolye, toka gibi saçmasapan küçük şeylerle süsledik, bayağı da sevimli oldu. Gato da çok sevdi ve ağacı yemeye çalıştı.

Noel yemeğini ben hazırladım, hiç de fena değildi. Değerlendirmesini siz yapın, nasıl görünüyor tabak?

Gördüğünüz gibi adada her şey yolunda gidiyor. Hava o kadar güzel ki birazdan çıkıp bir ada turu yapacağız. Sizin için de etrafa bakarım merak etmeyin...

Yukarıdaki şiiri türkçeye çevirmek isterdim ama ingilizcem o kadar iyi değil. Sizin için de Mesnevi'den türkçe bir şeyler yazarak veda edeyim...

...

Bulutlar, şimşekler aksilik yapmasalar, suratlarını asmasalar, gürlemeseler, ağlamasalar üzümler güneşin gülümsemesinden yanar, kavrulurlardı.

...

Saudad...

2008-12-29T21:49:00.003+02:00

I loved this porteguese word... It means that "longing" or more than longing like joyful melancholy. Yes there is a joy to missing someone if you know that you'll meet her/him soon or someday...

This photo of my niece Miray brought that word to my mind. I am missing her but I love to see her to grow everytime I saw. They live in Izmir, 10 hours far to Istanbul, I wish I could be there now...

Bu portekizce kelimeyi seviyorum. Anlamı özlem, ya da özlemden fazlası; içini sevinçle, neşeyle dolduran bir melankoli. Gerçekten de özlediğin birini yakında veya bir gün tekrar göreceğini bildiğinde özlemek güzel şey...

Yeğenim Miray'ın bu fotoğrafına bakarken bu kelime geldi aklıma birden. Onu çok özlüyorum ama her buluştuğumuzda biraz daha büyüdüğünü görmek beni çok mutlu ediyor. Keşke şimdi orada olabilseydim...

new project - Yeni projem

2008-12-28T16:35:00.005+02:00

Ok...

This is my new project... Can you see it? İt's on the frame at right side. I don't know how for now but I'll have a website next year (2009). And I'll show my photographs there. Do you have any idea to make it easy and cheap way?

Oh... I wish you a lately merry xmas :)

Love you all

Eveeett...

İşte yeni projem. Görebiliyormusunuz bilmem ama çerçevenin sağ alt köşesinde bir ibare var... Şimdilik nasıl yapacağımı bilmiyorum ama 2009 yılı içinde kendime ait bir websitem olacak ve fotoğraflarımı orada sergileyeceğim. Bunu en kolay ve en ucuz şekilde nasıl yapacağım konusunda bir fikriniz varsa lütfen bana yazın...

bizim için de geçmiş kurban bayramı kutlu olsun :) biraz geç kaldım ama olur o kadar...

Herkese sevgiler...

a brief history of past days (or months!), Gecmis zamanin kisa bir ozeti

2008-11-21T20:35:00.052+02:00

Madrid'den herkese merhaba,

Nereden baslasam nasil anlatsam bilmiyorum ama uzun zamandir yazi yazmamamin elbette ki makul bir sebebi var : tembelim ben... Ama bugun Mireia'dan iyi bir azar yedim ve ev odevi olarak blog yazma gorevi verildi bana, ne de olsa 2 gundur evde yatip duruyorum hem de Madrid'de !!!

Oncelikle kaldigim yerden devam edecek olursam; kitabi biraktigim vapurda her gun gozlerim kitabimi aradi, ya da okuyan birini, ya da buraya gonderilecek bir mesaji bekledim ama gordugunuz gibi hic biri gerceklesmedi. Sanmayin ki vazgectim, eve doner donmez yeni bir kitap yola cikacak, Mireia'nin saclarinin diken diken oldugunu gorebiliyorum (bu arada bunu ingilizceye nasil cevirecegim de bir merak konusu oldu simdiden)...

Kinaliadadaki gizli kumsalimiz, secret beach
Belki biliyorsunuz ama ben bilmeyenler icin tekrar yazayim, mayis ayinda basladigim hudut ve sahiller saglik genel mudurlugundeki gorevime genel mudurun degismesi nedeniyle veda ettim ve eski calisma yerim olan Baltalimani Kemik Hastanesine geri dondum. Resmi yazisma ile gecen 1 ay boyunca da rapor aldim (sakin kimseye soylemeyin). Yani eylul ayi boyunca tam 1 ay evdeydim !!! Bu sure zarfinda buyuk bir gercegi farkettim; "calismak insan dogasina aykiri". Cok ciddiyim, insanin sevmedigi bir iste calismak zorunda olmasi buyuk bir haksizlik. Gerci ozellikle bu kriz gunlerinde hayatta kalmayi saglayacak bir ise sahip olmak guzel bir sey ama neden zevk aldigimiz seyi yaparak gecimimizi saglayamiyoruz? Gerci bunu basaran pek cok insan var, peki onlardan biri olmak mumkun degil mi? Onlarin bizden (benden) farki nedir? Sanirim buna verilecek tek bir cevap var: CESARET... Sevdigi isi yapan, hobisini gecim kaynagina donusturen insanlar hayat standartlarinda olusacak degisimi, karsilacaklari zorluklari, belki almak zorunda kalacaklari borclari-kredileri, kirayi gec odemeyi goze aliyorlar. Ve gordugum kadariyla guvendikleri tek sey de kendi istek ve kararliliklari. Farkettiyseniz su ana kadar hic yetenekten bahsetmedim cunku benim inancima gore herkes kendini ifade edebilmek icin gelistirebilecegi bir veya bir kac yetenekle geliyor bu dunyaya, bundan sonrasi ise calismak ve ayni seyi secmeyi surdurmek...

Anlayacaginiz eylul ayi bunlari dusunmek ve hic bir sey yapmayarak gecti :) Sadece bulundugum andan, yerden keyif almakla gecen bir rehabilitasyon devresi oldu. Ve sonra tekrar hastanede ise basladim ama isyeri degisikligi sirasinda calisma sekli degistiginden tekrar gece calisma imkanini kaybettim. Gunde 5 saatim yolda geciyor, aksam 8'de eve variyorum ve kendime ayirabilecegim sadece 2-3 saatim var cunku sabah da ise gitmek uzere erken kalkmak zorundayim. Sonuc olarak laboratuvarin sorumlu doktoru ile durumu konustum ve evde sadece 2-3 saat gecirebildigimi soyledigimde aldigim cevap:
- Bir suru insan bu sekilde yasiyor, bu senin ozel problemin... oldu. Benim cevabimsa:
- Haklisiniz bu benim ozel problemim ve haklisiniz bir suru insan boyle yasiyor ama aramizda bir fark var. Ben bu sekilde yasamak istemiyorum ! Is benim icin sadece bir gecim kaynagi, benim hayatim degil ve olmasini da istemiyorum.
Sonuc olarak artik 1 saat erken cikiyorum isten ve evde fazladan 2 saat gecirebiliyorum !!! Konusmak ve isteklerini dogru bir sekilde ortaya koymak insanin hayatini degistirebiliyor tabi karsinda seni anlayabilecek kapasitede ve iyi niyetli biri olmasi kaydiyla :)

Ekim ayi icinde 1 hafta ara ile 2 dugune katildim. Birincisi Amerikada yasayan arkadasim, canim, birtanem Nurten'in dugun toreniydi. Nurten yillardir Amerikada yasiyor ve her yaz ailesini ziyarete geldiginde 3-4 gun birlikte tatil yapiyoruz ve bir gelenek olarak bu tatiller Bodrumda geciyor-du ;) Bu yaz yine Bodrum'a gittik ama ben yalniz degildim ve Nurten bayagi bir sIkIldi ucuncu kisi olmaktan. Bir gun tekne gezisine gitmek istedi ve benim
pek keyfim yoktu gitmek istemedim, cok kizdi bana hatta kustu. Sonucta ertesi gunu katildigimiz tekne turunda mustakbel kocasi ile tanisti !!! Gordugunuz gibi her seyin bir nedeni var ve tesaduf diye bir sey yok (bence de guzel bir bahane oldu ne dersiniz ;)

Nurten & me

Ikinci dugun ise sevgili kuzen Tolganinkiydi. Dugun Akcayda oldugu icin ailemi ve canim bitanecik yegenim Mirayi gorme firsatim oldu. Sadece 1 gun kaldim ama iyi geldi.

Her iki cifte de omur boyu mutluluklar diliyorum.

Ve gelelim 6 Kasim gunune, bugunun iki bakimdan onemi var benim icin; birincisi Sam'in dogumgunu olmasi, ikincisi ise benim ikinci hayatimin baslama gunu olmasi !!! Sam'in dogumgunu pastasini yedikten bir kac dakika sonra nefes almakta zorluk cekmeye basladim. Gecer diye bekledikce kotulesmeye basladi, oksijen acligina girdim ve ambulans cagirmak zorunda kaldik. Adada ambulans olmadigindan polis arabasi bizi iskeleye goturdu, iskeleden deniz ambulansi ile Maltepe sahiline gectik oradan da am bulansla Kartal Lutfi Kirdar hastanesine goturuldum. Serum takilip oksijen verildikten sonra kendime gelebildim ve butun geceyi hastanede gecirmek zorunda kaldik. Sanirim Sam'in gecirdigi en ilginc dogum gunuydu bu :) Asiri balgam birikmesinden tikanma yasamisim, dolayisiyla oksijen acligi ve sonucunda gelisen panik atakla durumum iyice kotulesmis. Sam'in soyledigi kadariyla gozlerime baktiginda orada olmadigimi gormus !!! Bir ara ben de her seyin bittigini dusunecek kadar sinira yaklastigimin farkindayim, hayatim bir film seridi gibi gozumun onunden gecmedi ama muthis bir hafiflik ve huzur duygusuyla kendime disaridan baktigimi gordum. Olmek boyle bir seyse korkmaya ne gerek var diye dusundugumu biliyorum ve sonra yasamayi ne kadar sevdigimi farkettim. Ilginc bir deneyimdi...

Ve simdi Madriddeyim, 1 hafta suren Andalucia gezisi sonrasi Madridde once kabiz sonra ishal olunca 2 gundur evde yatmak zorunda kaldim :( Yarin daha iyi olursam sokaklarda yuruyup fotograf cekecegim ve aksam eve donus yoluna baslayacagim...

Fotograflar ve gezinin ayrintilari, tanistigim yeni arkadaslar gelecek sayida...

Madridden sevgilerimle...

....

Hello from Madrid to everybody

I don't know where or how i should start to tell my story but of course there is a reason to not to write my blog for a long time: I am lazy... But my dear friend Mireia told me off and gave me a homework : " write your blog girl". And I am here as you see... Actually I don't have a better thing to do because of I am laying down in the bed for 2 days, in Madrid !!!

first of all i want to continue where i left at my previous post; I looked for my book in every ferry at everyday and waited for a message about the new reader but no news as you see. Don't worry I'll do it again with a new book when I returned to home. I can imagine Mireia's face now :)

Maybe you know or not but I changed my work place again. I was working at a job which they were controlling the transportation at the borders about health. This work finished for me because of the change of the general director !! don't be surprised it happens in Turkey a lot :)
Between two jobs I had a 30 days off because of paper work so I spend a month at home in september.

During this time I realized something very big: " Working is not a natural situation for humanbeings". I am serious, this is unfair that people have to go to work which they don't like to do. In fact, having a job in these crisis days is very good but why we cannot do a job which we love to do? There are some people who do that, isn't it possible for us too? What are their differences? I have only one answer: COURAGE... They risk their life standarts, they accept the potential debts, bank credits or not to be able to pay their bills or rent on time.. but they do what they love to do, working is a joy for them. They know what they want and they are stable about it. I am not talking about abilities because of in my opinion everybody comes to earth with one or more abilities which help to express themselves, the rest is working on them with insistence and keep going to chose samething !

So September passed with these toughts with doing nothing. I just enjoyed "now and here", it was like a rehabilitation perod for me. and now I returned my ex job in the hospital but i lost my night shift working opportunity, so I spend 5 hours on the way everyday ! I have only 2-3 hours for my personal life at home. I decided to talk to the chief of laboratory and we had that conversation:
- I spend 5 hours on the way and have only 2-3 hours for myself, i need a solution about that.
- There are lots of people who live like that and this is not our problem, it's your personel life and personal problem.
- I know this is my problem and I know there are a lot of people who live like that BUT, there is a difference between me and them: I don't want to live like that. Work is not my life and I don't want to spend my life at work like others. I need more time for my personal life.

In conclusion I leave work 1 hour earlier now so I have 2 more hours for my life ! I saw again that to talk about what you want and express yourself clearly can change your life. Of course there must be a person in front of you who can understand you :) I am lucky in this case...

me at Nurten's wedding party

I attended two wedding parties in october. One of them is a very best friend of mine Nurten's wedding. She is my friend since 20 years ! She lives in America for years and comes to Turkey in the summer to visit her family every year. We go to Bodrum (or did) for 3-4 days every year but this year I wasn't alone so she did not like to be the third :) She wanted to go to a boat trip one day but I wasn't in my best mood that day and I refused her. She was so angry with me and so sad. We went to boat trip next day and she met with her future husband ! I am happy to say that there is no coincidence and everything has a reason (this is a very good excuse, isn't it?)

The second one was my cousin Tolga's wedding party. It was in my parents'town so I was very happy to meet with my family specially my 10 months niece Miray. She is so cute with her 2 teeth :)

Cousin Tolga and his lovely wife

I wish to these 2 couples a long happy life together...

And finally the 6th of november; it's an important day for me because of two reasons. First of all it's the birthday of Sam and second, it's the beginning of my second life! I had difficulty of breathing when we finished to eat the birthday cake. I tought that it will pass soon and waited for a while but it get worse and I couldn't breath properly, I was in a hunger of oxygen and this caused a panic attack. I called for ambulance but there wasn't an ambulance in the island so the police car came and took me to the pier for sea ambulance. We went to the mainland quickly and the other ambulance was waiting for me there. I recovered after they gave me isolyte and oxygen in the ER but we had to spend all night in the hospital because there wasn't a way to come back to home in the night. I think it was the most interesting birthday Sam ever had... The problem was I had a lack of breathing because of the accumulation of mucus and hunger of oxygen and finally panic attack.

Sam said to me later that he saw that I wasn't there when he looked at my eyes and I felt same too. At some point I tought that I am dying but it wasn't bad, my life did not pass on my mind:) I was looking to myself from out and saw myself very light and peaceful and I had a feeling like; "If the death is something like that there is nothing to be afraid of" and I realized that how much I love the life. It was an interesting experience...

And now I am writing this post in Madrid after 1 week travel around Andalucia. I had intestine problems and had to stay at home for 2 days! But I'll go out to walk in the streets of Madrid and take photos tomorrow. Beacuse I am heading to home tomorrow evening.

Photos, writings and stories about new friends in my next post...

Keep on following me my friends...

Loves from Madrid...

Bookcrossing...

2008-08-29T16:26:00.031+03:00

the stories that wait for the owner

Merhaba,

Do you like to reading? Would you lıke to see more people readıng good books? Do you think that the books are too expensive? Do you want to share a book with other people which you really liked?

So you can do what I did today; Leave one of your good books in a crowded public area including a note:

Hi,

This book was not accidentally forgotten here. It was released here for your reading. Please do the same after you finished the book. And if you can write your toughts to my blog page about the book, where and when did you find it, and where did you left after you read, we can follow its journeys (around of Istanbul or Turkey or world !!!).

Thank you & enjoy your reading

Zeytin

... This is what I did today :) Actually this is not a new thing, there is already a movement named bookcrossing all over the world. It's known as "traveling book" in Turkey. When I connected to the website of traveling book I saw that the owner of the website and books is the municipality of Istanbul, they released the books like "Harmful Habits", "Communication Within the Family", "Cultured Living in Istanbul", etc. I went to their website to register the release of my book, but they only allow registration of their own book list... well ... maybe they did not find my taste eligible as much as theirs, so I turned to the bookcrossing website this time and checked if they have any books from Turkey... There were only 11 books. Ok... I'll add my book here but now they want me to write the BCID code of my book ! I will do it if I know but...

Finally I saw that both of the websites will not to help me about my goal. So, I wrote the note above to the first page of the Herman Hesse's book named " The childhood of a Wizard" which I read last 2 days and enjoyed very much. It contains stories, easy to read, delightful and tickling your mind and senses.

The best place to release the book was the ferry of course. I get on the 17.30 ferry from Kabataş sit on the last seat at the back. I was early so it wasn't difficult to put the book on the heater near the next seat. Then I checked around like a burglar if someone aware of it but no, the family at the second seat was talking between themselves and the old guy across of my seat was doing his crossword. I decided to take more risk and took a photo of the book on the heater and named "the stories that wait for the owner" :)

I was wondering who will see the book first, will sit next to it and take it, will read and enjoy it (maybe not who knows). and I wonder if that person will send me a note about the journey of the book later... ssshhhh... there are lots of unknowns and I am so excited. My heart is beating strongly with every passenger come inside but there is still nobody to sit there. However the ferries are always crowded at fridays but not this time. I think Istanbulers called it a season already for the islands.

Within the last 5 minutes a young guy with glasses, seems 30-35, carrying a toast in his hand sit on the next seat ! and a young woman, an old guy who reads an armenian newspaper and a red faced oldish guy (I tought that he has high pressure problem) sit next to him too... Nobody paid attention to the book. Young guy kept eating his toast, young woman opened her book, armenian guy read the newspaper and red faced oldish guy decided that the seat is too sunny for him and changed the place.

Now there were three people around the book and none of them saw it, or if they saw they weren't interested, if they were interested they were either so lazy or ashamed to take and look at the book. And the book, my lovely book laid there alone and sad. Young guy finished his toast, looked around (oh he will see now!) and went out. Young woman took his place, now closer to the book but looked at me without seeing and opened her own book again.

I was losing my hopes with every minute and started to worry about the future of the book (books/me/world/universe). Maybe it would be better if I put it on the seat instead of the heater so they could see it.

Hmm... I felt that if I put it on the seat they will sit on it... If I put it on the floor they will step on it... If I put it on the seat at the outer seating of the ferry they will throw it to the sea... If I put it on the table they will throw it to the garbage as a waste from the previous passangers...

Do you think I am extremely pessimistic? Make me wrong... Please someone do make me wrong !!!

Zeytin

p.s. The photo at the very bottom is an example of "ferry literature".

........

Advertisement of my blog and the book :)

Merhaba,

Kitap okumayı seviyor musunuz? Kitap okuyan kimse kalmadığından mı şikayet ediyorsunuz? Kitaplar çok mu pahalı? Okuyup beğendiğiniz bir kitabı başkaları ile paylaşmak ister misiniz?

Öyleyse siz de benim yaptığımı yapın ve kitaplığınızdan beğendiğiniz bir kitabı kalabalık bir yerde UNUTUN! İçinde bir notla;

Merhaba,

Bu kitap burada unutulmamış sizin okumanız için bilerek bırakılmıştır. Eğer siz de okuduktan sonra nerede bıraktığınızı bookcrossing başlıklı blog yazıma yorum olarak gönderirseniz kitabın nereleri dolaştığını izleyebiliriz.

Teşekkürler ve keyifli okumalar

Zeytin

...

Bugün bunu yaptım işte :) Aslında yaptığım yeni bir şey değil. Yurtdışında bookcrossing, Türkiyede ise dolaşımdaki kitaplar olarak bilinen bir uygulama. seyyarkitap isimli siteye girdiğimde İstanbul Büyükşehir Belediyesi ve Kültür A.Ş.'nin (!) Zararlı Alışkanlıklar, Aile İçi İletişim, İstanbul'da Görgülü Yaşamak v.b tarzı kitapları dolaşıma soktuğunu gördüm. Kendi istediğim kitabı dolaşıma sokmak istediğimde ise boş bir beyaz sayfa ile karşılaştım. Kitap zevkimin çok da İBB'nin zevki ile uyuşmadığına karar vererek bu sefer yabancı da olsa bookcrossing sitesini deneyip Türkiye'de hiç dolaşımda kitap var mı diye baktığımda sadece 11 kitap olduğunu gördüm. Bari buraya ekleyeyim istediğim kitabı dedim ama bu sefer de karşıma BCID kodu çıktı !! Bir bilen var mı nedir bu? ISBN gibi bir şey mi yoksa ta kendisi mi?

Sonuç olarak bu sitelerden bana hayır yok ben en iyisi kendi işimi kendim göreyim dedim ve son iki gündür okuyup bugün bitirdiğim Herman Hesse'in Bir Büyücünün Çocukluğu kitabının iç sayfasına yukarıdakine benzer bir not yazarak, yolculuğunu buradan takip etmeye karar verdim.

Kitap, yazarın Almanca iki kitabındaki hikayelerin derlemesinden oluşuyor. Okuması kolay, zevkli ve insanın zekasını, duygularını gıdıklayan bir kitap.

Kitabı bırakmak için en uygun yer tabi ki her gün yolculuk yaptığım vapur oldu. Kabataş iskelesinden 17.30 Adalar vapuruna bindim ve vapurun kapalı kısmında en arka sıraya oturdum. Biraz erken geldiğimden bölmede henüz bir kaç kişi vardı ve ben hızla kitabı öndeki koltukların yanındaki kaloriferin üzerine bıraktım ve sonra suç işlemiş gibi etrafı kolaçan ettim. İki sıra öndeki aile kendi arasında konuşmaya devam ediyor, yaşlı amca bulmacasına dalmış görünüyordu. Biraz daha riske girmeye karar vererek kitabın bir de fotoğrafını çektim içimden isimlendirerek "sahibini bekleyen hikayeler" :)

Sonra beklemeye başladım, acaba kitabı ilk kim görecek, öndeki sıraya kim oturacak, kim bu güzel kitabı alıp okuyacak, acaba buraya mesaj gönderecek mi? Offf ne çok bilinmeyen var ve nasıl bir heyecanla bekliyorum. İçeriye her giren yolcu ile kalbim çarpıyor ama hala öndeki koltuğa oturan yok, halbuki cuma günleri vapur kalabalık olurdu. Anlaşılan ada sezonu kapanmaya başladı İstanbullular için.

Vapurun kalkmasına 5 dakika kala elinde ekmek arası döneri ile 30-35 yaşlarında, gözlüklü bir genç adam girdi ve önümdeki koltuğa oturuverdi. Sonra karşı çaprazına ermenice gazete okuyan yaşlı bir bey, sağına genç bir bayan ve karşısına da yüzündeki kırmızılıktan tansiyon problemi olduğunu düşündürten yaşlıca bir bey oturdu. Genç adam hiç kitaba bakmadan ekmeğini yemeyi sürdürdü, genç kadın çantasından kitabını çıkarıp okumaya başladı ve kırmızı yüzlü adam gelen güneşten rahatsız olup oflaya puflaya karşı sıradaki gölgeli bir koltuğa geçti.

Kitap hala görülmemişti, yolculardan hiç biri kitabı farketmedi, farkettiyse de ilgilenmedi, ilgilendiyse de alıp bakmaya ya üşendi ya utandı ve kitap, benim sevgili kitabım orada yapayalnız, boynu bükük kalakaldı. Ekmeğini yemeyi bitiren genç adam bir süre etrafına bakındı, sonra kalktı ve bölmeden çıktı. Onun yerinin karşısına genç kadın geçti bu sefer ve tekrar kitabını okumaya başladı. Umutlarım sönmeye başlamıştı ve kitabın (kitapların, kendimin, dünyanın, evrenin) akıbetinden endişe etmeye başladım. Acaba kaloriferin üzerine değil de koltuğun üzerine mi koysaydım? Bana o an öyle geldi ki, eğer koltuğa koysam üzerine oturacaklar, yere koysam basacaklar, dışarıda bıraksam denize atacaklar, masada bıraksam önceki yolculardan kalma artık diyerek çöpe atacaklar...

Çok mu karamsarım? Öyleyse biri beni yanıltsın... Lütfen biri beni yanıltsın...

Literature on the back of the seat...

Welcome on board...

2008-08-22T19:10:00.011+03:00

I know I am a lazy girl and I should did it before my first post but after I posted the first one I tought that it would be better if I read the other bloggers' first pages . I saw that they've started to their blog with a welcome message lik an explanation of "who they are", "why they are writing", etc. As you see my first post is not a regular start in this case...

Why?

Because my intention was not to write a blog when I connected to the blogspot.com at first time. I was looking for a user page to leave a comment but when I connected the site it started to guide me to create a new blog !!! Hmmm... Should I resist it? Of course not, I let it drive me and watched what I am doing when I was trying to create a page. It's not easy as much as it seemed, believe me...

It's always funny how the universe drives us to the paths which bring us what we need. Do I need a blog page, here it is ... (I don't have any idea WHY I do need a blog page)

So... If I began to this beautiful new job - there is another word in my mind but I cannot write it here, just we can say it's like; how I put myself in this situation ;) - I should do it properly.

Dear readers,

Welcome on board... We'll fly over the rainbow approximately (I love this word) 10.000 meters. Our speed will be as faster as the slowest fellow, so don't worry about cannot to follow the posts. Arrival time is NOW. If you feel sick about writings or don't want to follow me anymore, the life belts are under your seats.

Have a nice travel !!!

Zeytin

.....

Biliyoruuuum ben tembel bir kızım ve bunu daha önce yapmam gerekirdi ama ilk yazıyı gönderdikten sonra, diğer blog yazarlarının ilk sayfalarını görmemin yararlı olacağını düşündüm ve farkettim ki onlar bloglarına bir tür hoşgeldin mesajı ile başlamışlar. " Ben kimim", " Neden yazıyorum" gibi açıklamalar içeren mesajlar. Gördüğünüz gibi, benim ilk yazım normal bir giriş olmadı pek.

Neden?

Çünkü blogspot.com web sitesine ilk bağlandığımda niyetim bir blog oluşturmak değildi. Bir yorum bırakmak üzere belirli bir kullanıcının sayfasını aramak için girmiştim siteye fakat site beni yeni bir blog sayfası oluşturmak üzere yönlendirmeye başladı. Karşı mı çıkmalıydım? Tabi ki hayır... Bıraktım beni istediği yere götürsün ve yeni bir blog sayfası oluşturmaya çalışırken kendimi izledim. İnanın bana göründüğü kadar kolay değilmiş.

Evrenin bizi ihtiyacımız olanı vermek üzere çeşitli yollara sürüklemesini izlemek gerçekten çok eğlenceli. Bir blog sayfasına mı ihtiyacın var, al sana blog. (Bu arada neden böyle bir ihtiyacım olduğu hakkında en ufak bir fikrim yok !)

Bu durumda, mademki bu harika yeni işe başladım - aslında aklımdan başka bir kelime geçiyor ama onu buraya yazmasam daha iyi olur, sadece kendimi bu duruma nasıl soktuğumu sormakla ilgili diyebiliriz ;) - doğru düzgün yapmalıyım.

Sevgili Okuyucular,

Hoşgeldiniz... Gökkuşağının ötesine, yaklaşık 10.000 metre irtifada uçacağız. Hızımız en yavaş takipçinin hızında olacağı için yazıları kaçıracağım diye korkmanıza gerek yoktur. ve eğer yazılanlar hoşunuza gitmez veya daha fazla takip etmek istemezseniz can yelekleri oturduğunuz yerin altındadır.

İyi yolculuklar...

Zeytin

at the beginning...

2008-08-20T10:44:00.000+03:00

there was only light at the beginning... Then toughts started to fly in the light. They need to experience themselves, so toughts became things...

"Toughts become things... Choose the good ones"

"Notes from the universe" is my last discover (!) through internet (thanks to AJ). Now, I am receiving little, joyful and inspiring reminders everyday, strongly recommend you to join this world of adventurers.

I just came back from a trip to Hungary and Czech Republic. Details and photographs will come soon but here is a pic from my flight to Budapest as a starter...

love & endless journeys

....

Başlangıçta sadece ışık vardı. Sonra düşünceler ışığın içinde uçuşmaya başladı. Kendilerini deneyimleme ihtiyacındaydılar, böylece düşünceler şeylere dönüştü.

"Düşünceler gerçekleşir... İyilerini seçin"

" Notes from the universe " benim internet üzerindeki son keşfim (teşekkürler AJ). Artık hergün neşeli, ilham verici küçük notlar alıyorum ve bu maceracıların dünyasına katılmanızı şiddetle tavsiye ediyorum.

Macaristan ve Çek Cumhuriyetine yaptığım geziden yeni döndüm, ayrıntılar ve fotoğraflar yakında size ulaşacak ama başlangıç olarak Budapeşte yolunda uçaktan bir görüntü...

Sevgiler ve sonsuz yolculuklar

zeytin